What’s so different between now and 8 weeks from now?
Looking up at him, I see him freeze. He doesn’t immediately pull back this time. I’m not sure if it’s because he can see how upset being at the hospital has caused me, or if it has caused him just as much grief, or maybe something else entirely. His hand stops on my cheek as he just looks at me.
Anytime that he and I are in the room together, I can tell that I’m not the only one who feels the tension. It’s not like I’m this naïve little girl, either.
I mean, fuck, I grew up next to an MC… dad tried to keep the club from me, but you can only keep so much away when you live on the same grounds as it.
Plus, I’ll be 18 in a few weeks. What is the biggest difference between now and a few weeks from now? I know what Axe will say if I ask him this, so I won’t. I just sit and stare back at him. Wanting him to make the first more, but knowing full well that he won’t.
Watching his eyes trail down my face and land on my mouth, I can’t help but to bite down on my bottom lip as I look up to him and I watch his chest rise and fall. I can tell he feels the tension building just as much as I do. I move across the console and press my lips to his.
I’m expecting him to push me back immediately as soon as he feels my lips on his, but he doesn’t.
Instead, his hands fall into my hair. He pulls me towards him, and he presses his lips to mine. As soon as his lips touch mine, I can feel his tongue come out as it skirts the crease of my lips, asking them for permission. His tongue pushes into my mouth and touches my own, and I can feel the electricity that shoots through my body.
And then, almost as if he finally realizes what it is he’s doing, he pulls away, panting.
“Ella,” my name comes out of his mouth as a rasp. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have…”
His comment makes me laugh because he did nothing. “I kissed you.” He smirks back over at me and shakes his head.
“You know what I mean.” He rolls his eyes.
“No, I don’t.” I tell him, shaking my head.
“Shit, El.” He pauses as he straightens up and looks out through the windshield. “I can’t do this.” He whispers out, but it doesn’t faze me. He’s been telling me this for years. It would be one thing if he said he doesn’t want to do it, but he can’t. Can’t, is an entirely different situation.
“We aren’t doing anything.” I tell him.
“You know what I’m talking about.” He smirks at me once more.
I pause, looking at him, “My birthday is soon…” I say in a hushed tone, looking over, and he shakes his head again.
“But it isn’t today, babydoll.” He whispers to me before he brings his hand up and cups my cheek, making me look at him.
“What’s so different between today and 8 weeks from now?”
“A prison sentence.” He chuckles out before he grows serious, again. “It’s not just that, El.” He pauses again, but I know what he’s going to say.
“It’s my dad.” I whisper back.
“Not just him. It’s everyone. Ella,” he turns, looking over at me, “they’re never going to let this happen regardless of now or in a year.”
“That’s not their decision to make.” I look at him, having to fight the tears that are threatening to spill.
“That’s easy for you to say.” He snaps over at me. “If anything happens, ever, I will be betraying them.”
“Axe,” I pause, until he looks over at me, slowly turning his head, “I know, I’m not imagining this connection.” I whisper to him.
“That doesn’t matter.” He shakes his head.
“Why?” I raise my voice slightly, almost shouting at him. “It’s because of Ash…” I trail as Axe looks out the window. “He’s slept with nearly every woman from here to L.A. and you’re worried about him getting mad at you?” I ask him as he shakes his head.
“You don’t understand.” His voice is barely over a whisper as he looks back at me. “At the very least he looks at you like his baby sister, but realistically he probably looks at you more like a daughter.” He stops for a second, “So, yeah… he would be pissed off about it.” He shrugs, and I get pissed off.
“You’re a coward.” I cut my words at him. “You don’t want him possibly being upset with you, so you do nothing.” And I get out of the car, storming off in the house's direction.
I expect him to follow me, but he doesn’t.
