“What the fuck.” I whisper as I look from Ro to Caroline, who immediately drops her eyes, even after all these years and seeking her revenge, still feels ashamed over it.
I get it, I understand that feeling.
“The rotation of kids into and out of the house was constant for one reason or another. For whatever reason he kept me around.” Caroline looks back up at him, surprised again.
“I never understood that.” She says to him, but this time he won’t meet her eyes.
“You’ve said it before,” Ro shrugs again, “he had his favorites.”
“What do you mean by that?” I ask, quietly still looking up at him.
“At first, I thought it was everyone cause, ya know, you don’t talk about that. At least the ones who aren’t fucking twisted in the head.” He pauses as if he’s trying to gain the strength. “But I eventually realized that it wasn’t everyone else. That it was only me who woke up alone a few times.”
“What?” Caroline gasps. “Why?”
His eyes stop on her. “It wasn’t often and I have no idea why…” He stops. “Maybe it was cause I was the oldest of the kids or maybe the biggest. And if he broke me the others wouldn’t feel like they could fight back. Like if they all saw me submit to him then he would get everyone to be. Sometimes I think he was just bored, and if here was a lull in kids or if they all seemed to be too defiant… Most times it was just me alone…”
I can’t help but get stuck on the words most times, knowing what else he means.
?
“I am way too high.” He laughs out, shaking his head as he takes another hit off the second joint.
“Same.” I nod.
“Guys, guys, guys…” Caroline sits up again from laying down on the bench. Just like she was earlier. “Who says that the colors I see and the colors you see are actually identical colors?”
Slowly, we both turn to look at her before all three of us erupt in laughter.
“Oh no…” Caroline’s eyes widen as she stares out past us, I’m about to look to see what she’s looking at when she starts again. “I think I’m too high to drive back.” Ro laughs out as Caroline reaches across the table and grabs the joint for another hit.
“You say that you’re too high and smoke more?” He laughs even harder.
“Yeah,” She inhales, coughing out, and brings her phone up onto the table. It starts ringing on speaker and she sets it down on the table.
“What?” A groggy voice comes through the speaker.
“I fucked up.” She says into the phone before the giggle falls out of her mouth and causes both Ro and I to start snickering as well.
“Where are you?” There’s a chuckle as he asks the question. Caroline drops a pin to our location as they get off the phone and she’s smiling.
“That’s still fucking weird.” Ro says causing Caroline to grin. She emits bliss as she responds to him.
“I know. It’s weird for me somedays too. Like I still wake up and thinkwhy the fuck is someone in my bed?” Her comment makes me laugh. I heard about Caroline and Ash a lot back in the day. How most everyone never thought that the kid would settle down, butheknew.Healways knew that Ash was a romantic. “But then when he’s gone all night and shit… I can’t settle until I know he’s safe.” The sentiment gets me.
Maybe deep down I’m just a cynical romantic.
?
The headlights swing into the parking lot, and I nod my head, catching both Caroline and Ro’s attention. I follow the 2 of them from the table where we sit. I can already hear Ash laughing.
“You guys got high in a park? You do realize you’re all adults, right?” Caroline laughs as she rushes up to him, he catches her as she jumps into his arms. It’s actually kind of cute, but also makes my heart heavy, sad almost.
“I know.” Ro starts. “They’re obnoxious, but you get used to it.”
“Do you?” I turn, asking him.
“Not really.” We both laugh out before he pulls me into his side and walks with me to the truck.
