Opening the door, she’s still sitting in the same spot, staring off in the distance. I’m not sure if she believed I was coming back or not.
“What’s that?” She asks, her eyes landing on what’s clasped in my hand.
Holding it out for her to see, her mouth drifts open.
“That still doesn’t explain why you didn’t come back.”
“Drew, the call woke me up. I didn’t know what I was walking into until I got to the station. I kept trying to call and warn him, but he never answered.”
“And they didn’t see the incoming calls?”
“I’ve never called him from my actual number.”
She looks at me, confused.
“He doesn’t know it, but he has the number to my burner.”
“Burner?”
“Yeah, it stays in a Faraday cage in my truck.” I pause. “Your dad put it in before he died.”
“You couldn’t give me a heads-up.”
“It’s not just that.”
“You what? Suddenly felt like we were disrespecting my brothers, my dad, by…” she trails off, not wanting to admit what we had.
“I was lying to you, and you deserved more than that.”
“You could have told me.”
“I couldn’t.” Shaking my head. “I didn’t know what was going on when I got called in, just knew it was an all-hands kind of thing. When I pulled Darren off of Z and switched cars, I’m looking at my best friend in the back seat, who hates me. And who has every right to hate me, but not for the reasons he actually does. I knew right then that the charade of my life was coming to an end. That I was going to have to choose a side publicly. And I knew I was choosing the MC. I knew Darren and most of the force would do everything they could to take the club down after that, and I knew whatever they tried, I’d have to be the one to make it go away.”
“To destroy the evidence.” She whispers.
“Yeah, that’s what it ended up being.” Nodding. “And if I told you that, if I told you what was going on, that’d put you at risk.”
“Don’t you think that should have been for me to decide if I wanted to or not?” she scoffs out. “For fuck’s sake, Eli, I grew up surrounded by this sort of shit.”
“Exactly, you never got to choose it.” Shaking my head. “I choose this, Drew. Telling you after…” I pause, not wanting to say that she loved me. Not sure if it’s because I don’t want to hear her say she doesn’t anymore, or if just saying the words will be too much for me to finish. “It just felt like you were once again not getting a choice.”
“Bullshit.” She snaps, glaring at me.
“What?”
“That’s bullshit, and you know it.”
“It’s not…” I look back at her.
“You’re leaving something out.”
“Okay.” I pause. “We called Axe from the car. He’s telling them to take the girls and you up to purgatory, that you needed to stay as far away from it as possible.”
“So you didn’t come back because my brother said so?”
“No, I didn’t come back because I agreed with him.”
Her eyes shift as I say it.
