“Yeah, but then we go into Canada and start heading east. The flights will be longer so we’ll have even less time together. Let’s just book this trip and then we can figure out later dates when we’re on the phone this week.”
“All right.” She picks at her eggs and I want to ask what’s wrong but I don’t have to—I already know.
Because I’m feeling it too.
I hate that she’s leaving.
That we have so little time together.
That this tour is going to last until fall, which will be most of the year.
Based on that, we’re essentially going to be apart for most of it.
“This thing with us,” I say carefully. “You know it’s not going to be easy, right?”
“I know.” She nods though she doesn’t look at me.
“I’m not the kind of man who cheats. That’s the only thing I can say that might make this better. Things may not work out but it won’t be because I can’t keep it in my pants while we’re apart.”
Her eyes snap to mine. “I wouldn’t cheat either!”
“I know, baby. I’m just pointing it out because I remember what you said about not having a good track record with musicians.”
“But you’re not a musician anymore.” She pauses, a tiny frown forming between her brows. “Wait—are you considering putting some version of Ross & the Rock-Its together?”
I hesitate. I don’t want to lie to her but the money the band is offering would change my life. And hers, if we stay together.
“I don’t know about a full band but maybe a solo act,” I say after a moment of uncomfortable silence. “The money is too much to ignore. I have to at least consider it.”
She stares at me and it’s impossible to tell what’s brewing behind her pretty green eyes.
“You don’t want me to.” I say it curiously, because she was all about me being Ross Rockit just a few days ago.
“I want you to do whatever will make you happy,” she says quickly.
“But you’re not happy.”
“It’s not about being happy. It’s about what kind of future we’ll have.”
“Nothing changes for us except that I’m making a lot more money, which is good for us. It means when this tour is over we’ll be able to move in together, whether we rent or buy. We can pay off any debts we have…and I can fly you out to see me whenever you want.”
She’s studying my face, and I can’t tell if she’s trying to determine whether or not I’m serious or something else.
“What?” I ask finally.
“You made a really big deal out of not wanting to be Ross Rockit anymore,” she says quietly. “And now you’ve done a complete one-eighty on that.”
“I honestly didn’t think it was possible,” I admit. “But I was telling the truth about not looking to be that guy anymore. It’s just…enticing once you’re back in the thick of things. I can’t explain the allure. It’s almost impossible to resist. But I’ll tell them no if you really don’t want me to do it.”
Her eyes widen slightly and then she shakes her head. “God, no. Don’t do that. Certainly not for me. This might be your chance to find out what would have happened if…” She stops and looks away. “Well, you know.”
“You can say it,” I say gently. “There was an accident. My band was all killed. It’s not something we have to dance around.”
“No, but I don’t want to throw it out there in conversation for no reason.”
“For no reason, no. But there is a reason while we’re discussing me potentially starting the band again. Well, a solo version of the band because the Rock-Its were my friends. So, there will be no Ross & the Rock-Its, just Ross Rockit. If I decide to do it, the band will be hired musicians.”
“If?” She cocks her head. “Come on—you know you’re going to.”
