“You’ll do it if you love me,” he whispers, leaning close; his breath is hot and cruel against my ear. “If you’re not lying, prove it. Show me you’re not out being a whore and you’re only mine.”
“Eli,” I sob, desperate to make him stop. “Please.”
But he doesn’t. His hands are so rough, pinning me down, making sure I know he’s controlling me. I’m helpless and powerless under him.
The room spins around me, and I close my eyes, wishing myself somewhere else, anywhere else.
“Open your eyes,” he growls. “Look at me.”
Reluctantly, I do, but Eli’s gone again, replaced by the stranger from the party, eyes cruel and hungry, mouth twisted in a smirk. “You were asking for it, weren’t you? Kissing me like that. I know what girls like you want.”
I scream, but no sound comes out. I push and shove, but I’m too weak. I can’t even fight back.
“Stop fighting it,” Eli’s voice returns, harsher now. “You want this. You’re mine. You’ll always be mine.”
“I’m not,” I cry. My voice is broken and small. “Please let me go.”
Eli’s face darkens further, voice dripping with venom as he leans closer. “I can’t believe you would hurt me like this. I thought you loved me the same way I loved you…but as soon as I’m gone, you just move on like I was nothing. Did you think I wouldn’t find out about John? My best fucking friend, Lydia?”
My breath catches painfully, the panic turning into shame. “No, Eli, please—”
“You really are a whore,” he says, spitting on me. “And I’m going to make sure you never forget it. He can’t save you. Nobody can.”
“Please,” I whisper weakly, the fight draining from me. “I’m sorry.”
He leans in, close enough that I can smell the familiar cologne, the bitter alcohol, the weed, the rage pouring off of him. “It’s too late for sorry, Lydia.”
I thrash and scream, but he’s too strong. The pain comes. It’s sharp and too much to handle. It all blurs into this terrifying moment of agony and complete helplessness.
Then I see John standing in the doorway, his eyes wide, horrified. I reach toward him, desperately. “John—”
Eli’s laughter is cruel as he holds me down. “He won’t save you. He doesn’t care about you, Lydia. Nobody does the way I did.”
John looks away, leaving me drowning in this nightmare.
“No—John, please don’t go!” I scream, reaching toward the emptiness.
No answer. I’m just left alone with Eli’s laughter and my heart splitting open once again.
I wake up gasping and soaked in sweat as my body tries to come back to reality, but I’m shaking so badly. I sit up quickly, heart pounding, eyes scanning the dark hotel room, scared and all alone.
It was only a dream.
But the fear feels real. It feels painfully wrapped around my throat still. I collapse back onto the pillows, tears streaming silently down my cheeks. My phone buzzes, and I jump at the feel. I look down at the screen to see John’s name.
John: Hey, just checking in, making sure you’re alive lol
The guilt has been eating at me all weekend, even with all the forced distractions. I hate how I’ve left him hanging, how I’ve purposely ignored him because I can’t just be honest enough to say how I’m feeling. I don’t even fullyknowhow I’m feeling, but if I tell him anything I’ve been thinking, it’ll just end up hurting his feelings, and that’s the last thing I want to do.
I can’t keep pushing it off, though.
Lydia: I am! I’m sorry I’ve been quiet all weekend. I just needed a little mental break and space from everything
He replies immediately, and honestly, I wish he weren’t so sweet, that he didn’t care so much. It would make this all so much easier.
John: I get it. Maybe I can see you when you get back?
I let out a long sigh before biting the bullet and just telling him the truth. No point in dragging this out any longer than I already have.
