“I said he could.Tommy’s not gonna know anyone there except me.He’s not a social butterfly.He’ll have a bad time if he comes alone.Are you okay with that?”
“I guess.”I didn’t care as long as Edgar stayed away from me and Eddie.
We didn’t say much while we ate.It was super awkward.
“How was work?”he said.
“Same old.”
“I’ve gotta get your parents something for Christmas.You know what they want?”
“They emailed me a list.I’ll forward it to you.”
“Maybe we can go out and shop together this weekend.”
“Sure.”
Afterward, he washed the dishes.When he was done, he joined me on the couch but didn’t sit too close.
“How was your audition?”I said.
Part of me hoped he’d tell me he’d dropped out of the process, or they’d rejected him.But he wasn’t acting like he needed cheering up.
“I didn’t audition.I had an interview with five people.One of them was the showrunner ofTens.Turns out he’s the guy who pulled me out of the line on my first day.Apparently, he’s seen my movies, and he’s a fan.”
“So, it looks like you’ll get the part.”
“Maybe,” he said.“I don’t know how many other people made it this far.And I still haven’t auditioned.”
“I’m tired.I’m gonna go to bed.”I got up.
“You want company?”He sounded uncertain.
“Sure.”
We went to bed, and I turned off the light and lay on my back.Like last night, I didn’t go near him.
“Promise me you’ll never do anything to yourself,” he said.
“What?”
“Promise me you won’t try to hurt yourself, ever, no matter what happens.”
“What the fuck, Eddie?I’d never do that.Why would you think that?”
“Tommy used to.”
“Well, I’m not Tommy.”I was angry at first, then I realized why his voice had cracked when he’d said that last part.I also realized how it must have fucked him up, his boyfriend hurting himself.He was so good at hiding his pain, it was easy to forget I could hurt him.
“Shit.I’m sorry, Eddie.”
“You want to make an appointment to see your therapist?”he said.
“I see him every week.”
“I could come with you next time.”
“Why?”
