“I don’t feel the same way you do.”
The words tumble out in a breathless rush. I flick my eyes to his face, then quickly away. If I look into his eyes, I won’t be able to go through with this.
“We’re not a good match. Not long-term, anyway. I’m attracted to you, I won’t deny that, but I think our chemistry’s been distracting us from the bigger picture.”
“The bigger picture.” His voice is flat.
“We’re not right for each other.”
I cough to cover the sob that nearly escapes. Every part of me wants to grab him and hang on for dear life. Instead, I force myself to keep going.
“This isn’t going anywhere, and the longer we pretend it is, the harder it’s going to be when it eventually ends. I think it’s... better for both of us if we do it now.”
I can barely get the words out. I stare down at the sidewalk, battling back the tears stinging my eyes.
“I don’t believe you.”
He knows your expressions. You need to sell it.
I force myself to meet his eyes. What I see in them breaks every piece of my heart: layers of hurt, love, and denial so intense that the tears I’ve been keeping at bay spill over before I can stop them.
“You don’twantto believe me, but you know it’s the truth. Our differences are going to come between us eventually. And I think... what you said before about wanting to get you out of my system...” I close my eyes as I brush away tears.God, please forgive me.“You were right.”
His lips are pressed together so hard, they’re practically white. He’s pissed as hell. “I was right.”
“Yes.”
No. I’m a filthy liar who doesn’t deserve you.
“You want to walk away from this.”
There’s a kind of disbelieving wonder in his tone. I can’t bring myself to respond. It’s one more lie than I’m capable of.
He expels a loud breath. “Fine. You win, Kate.”
“Iwin?”
His jaw is clenched so hard, it looks painful. “You want to push me away, I can’t stop you. I can’tforceyou to be with me. And I’m done trying.”
He stares at me, eyes cold and hard. The look on his face is one I’ve never seen before.Hatred.
“You know something, maybe you’re right. Maybe wearen’ta good match. I don’t live my life wondering what’s lurking behind every corner, waiting for the sky to fall. When something special comes along, somethinggood, I grab onto it with both hands. You’re fine to let it pass you by.”
He turns away, staring into the street as cars speed past, and I use the moment of respite to rein in my emotions.
When he speaks next, his voice is impersonal as a stranger’s. “It’s cold out. I’ll drop you at home.”
“You don’t have to. You can go ahead of me.”
He glares at me.“Walk.”
I don’t dare argue with him. Besides, the quicker I get home, the quicker I can fall apart.
We cover the last couple of blocks wordlessly, Ben following several feet behind me like an executioner. When we arrive at my building, he pulls open the door and I force him to look at me.
“I’m so sorry. I never meant—”
He holds up a hand, silencing me. “Just so you know, I still don’t believe you. You’re as bad a liar as you’ve ever been. I don’t know why you’re doing this, but I do know one thing—I can’t carry you over the finish line. You need to meet me in the middle, Kate. I thought we could get there together, but I see now it’s something you need to come to on your own.” His eyes soften a touch. “But we sure got close for a minute there, didn’t we?”
