This would expose me to the wider world outside the hard-core fans. People would know I was the owner of the cringey FreddyStan4Life and there would be no going back. My stomach twisted tighter. I wanted to be a real writer. What if my route to publishing through fan fiction made me a laughingstock?
Accepting the invitation was a bad idea. I hadn’t thought this through at all. God, I wish I hadn’t written RC. He probably thought I was an idiot. My fingers itched with the need to go check my email and unsend the message or backtrack. He probably thought I was overreacting too.
“Sweetie, come here.” Pete pulled me into his lap. “I just know how you are.” I frowned and he lifted my chin to kiss my forehead. “It’s what makes you so good at the writing thing. You can take one little idea and spin up it into a whole world. I just don’t want you to build it up too much in your head.”
“I know.”
“I hate seeing you disappointed. Best to go into events like this with no expectations.”
I took a deep breath in. He was right. I was sure my mother would say the same thing. I shouldn’t get my hopes up. He just wanted to protect me.
I snuggled into Pete, focusing on the familiarity of his arms. He was my grounding force when I spun out. He was here. I just needed to sit with the idea for a little bit, but the more I thought about the invitation, the more I understood that maybe I’d rushed into things.
“You know I’m the rational one. You tend to romanticize things and then when it doesn’t go the way you want, you’re disappointed. Remember the time you wanted to try that new sushi place and it ended up being terrible?”
It had been unpleasant because Pete complained loudly about the food and service, and I was mortified. I thought the food was great.
“I promise I have no expectations. I’m not getting my hopes up,” I said.
“Let’s just put a pin in it for a while. We can talk about it more later, okay, babe?” he said.
I nodded against his chest. I was all muddled up.
This was for the best. I had gotten ahead of myself.
As soon as I could, I would email RC and hope he hadn’t read my last message.
“And hey,” he said lifting my chin to look at him. “Happy birthday.”
“Thank you.”
“Why don’t you order whatever you want for dinner.”
I tried not to let my smile falter. If I accidentally hurt his feelings when he was trying to be nice, he’d throw a fit about it.
“Great,” I said with a forced smile, all the while my brain somersaulting. “Thanks.”
14
FROM: [email protected]
SUBJECT: RE: AHHH!!!!!!!!!
Kate,
This is amazing news. I’m so happy for you. You’re going to be bloody amazing. This could be your big break for the book. An agent might take note of you, and you will be ready to go. This could be how you get your book published.
Also, let’s not glaze over the fact that it’s your birthday. Hopefully, no surprise songs at the office? Oh wait, you took the day off from work, right? Did you like my goodies? Start with the caramel bits, they’re the best.
Seriously happy for you. You deserve every bit of good news.
RC
* * *
