“Thanks for coming to see me and listening to me whine. I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with me right now. Can we do a night out soon? Maybe some time when the boys are away? I could really do with a glass of wine or three.”
“Yes, you can practice your balance on us.” Emerson grabbed me into a hug.
“Try not to worry too much about it, just give it some time and everything will settle down. Give it all a chance.”
“Yeah, you’re right.”
Freddie wrapped her arms around me, squeezing me even tighter than usual. Her muscles must have doubled from carrying Samson around. “Anytime, babe.”
Emerson opened the door and held it for Freddie and Wolf to maneuver their giant strollers out.
“Have fun with Murray.” I leaned against the doorframe, waving until they disappeared around the corner toward the elevators, then stepped back into my office.
The girls were right. It was going to take time and I needed to chill out and get used to it, figure out a new routine and a way to have both the career I wanted and a life.
More than a life. A relationship, that I wanted.
Therelationship.
I picked my cell up from the desk and lay down on the couch, needing to hear his voice. I could hear people shouting in the background as he answered.
“Hi babe! How’s your morning been? How was surgery?”
Before I could stop it from happening my eyes became hot again, the tears creeping up my throat. “Shit.”
“Oh, baby. Why? What happened?” The concern in his voice warmed me like hot chocolate on a cold Saturday morning.
Everything moved so fast in the hospital that I’d never really shared my days in detail with anyone outside of work. A shit day in surgery meant you’d been thrown a curveball, and a patient’s life had changed for the worst. Or they’d died. And it was hard to convey that over text without bumming everyone else out. Hard to verbalize how much of a failure one surgery could make you feel. Or you didn’t have time to process because you needed to move straight onto the next.
Which was why surgeons were exceptional at compartmentalizing. Except today it didn’t seem like I could compartmentalize anything.
All my compartments were already full.
“I had to amputate a leg. This guy is only twenty and he’s not going to be able to play football again. And I need to go and tell him.” I sniffed.
There was a sharp intake of breath. “Oh Mol, I’m so sorry, that’s really shit. Fuck, that poor guy.”
“I know.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yes, just my job sucks sometimes.”
“I know. I’ll be back late tonight, but I’ll come to your place from the plane and make it better.”
“Okay.” I took a long strand of hair, pulling it straight and watched it snap back like a spring. “Lex, I miss you.”
“I miss you too, Angel. What have you got on this afternoon?”
“A hip replacement and some teaching in the lab.”
“See? Look at you shaping the medical brains of the future. Sometimes your job is good and you’re fucking amazing at it. They’re lucky to have you.”
His words set off a fresh flood of tears and the background noise grew quieter as he moved away to somewhere more silent.
“Molly, talk to me. What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know. We haven’t seen each other much.” I worried at my lip, at what else was bothering me. “Lex, Emerson said something about a foundation.”
