“Finn,” he says, and I grind my teeth at the apprehensive tone of his voice. “I totally get that this must have been a complete shock, but you need to be focusing on yourself, your health, your studies, too.”
My mouth falls open. “Are you kidding me right now? That baby is my daughter. And if you think I’m going to be absent so I can focus on my studies more than her, then you are sorely mistaken. I can do both, and I will do both, and I’ll prove to you that I can graduate and be a good father.”
I watch as he purses his lips. “We’re just worried about you, Finn. That’s all, alright? You’ve had a chaotic year, and I don’t want to see you going over the edge again when things start to get tough. This isn’t a small change, it’s a huge one.”
“They are my reason to stay sober.” I lean forward. “I had motivation before from myself, but this is the extra kick I needed. If I don’t stay sober, I don’t get to see my little girl. Andif I ruin my relationship with Maya, I’ll lose her, too, and I don’t want to lose either of them.”
My lips tremble as I take a large breath.
“We’re always here.” My dad’s voice calms. “If you need anything at all.”
I lower my head. “I know, Dad. Thanks.”
“Sorry, this is such a shock,” my mum murmurs as she wipes her tears away. “I can’t believe it. We’re grandparents. You’re a father, Finn. Oh my god.”
My fingers slide through the back of my hair. “Yeah…it’s going to take some time to get used to.”
“When can we meet her?” she gushes.
“Give it some time, Mum. I’m still trying to build my relationship back up with Maya, and I don’t want to scare her. As soon as I feel it’s right, I’ll ask if you guys can meet her.”
“What’s going on with you and Maya?” Ivy asks curiously.
I shrug. “I-I don’t really know. We’re not together, and I completely ruined her trust. It’s probably the last thing on her mind now we have Skye. I need to build up our relationship again. I’m going to take it one day at a time and go from there.”
“And how are you?” she asks.
My chest zaps like lightning. “I’m doing okay. I’m gonna go to a meeting later, and I’ve got a therapy session in the morning.”
“We’re so proud of you, Finn.” My mum sniffles. “You know that, right?”
I nod once, even though I don’t feel like I deserve their pride. I’m the one who put myself in the situation to drink myself stupid in the first place, and now I’m getting my life back on track, they’re proud of me? It fucks with my head.
“I love you very much,” she says again. “Call me if you need anything.”
“I love you too,” I whisper.
When my parents click off the call, Ivy stays on the line. We’re both silent for a long moment, and if anything, I’m grateful for the company. I understand my father’s worries, but it’s my life, and I’ll do whatever I think is best.
And Maya and Skye come first, above everything else.
“You okay?” Ivy says after a minute or so.
“Trying to be.”
“Skye,” she whispers. “Such a pretty name.”
My eyes strain at the screen. “Yeah, really pretty.”
“When are you seeing them next?”
I sigh. “I don’t know. Maya said we can work something out. She’s meant to be starting university again in January, and I said I want to step up and be there for Skye when she can’t be. She needs to finish her degree, and I refuse to let her throw it all away because she thinks she’s alone.”
“You’re doing good, Finn,” she says softly. “And I know you won’t agree, but I know it’s true. You’re a different person, and we can all see it.”
“It’s hard not to punish myself,” I confess.
“And I get that.” She props her head on her fist. “But there comes a time when you need to let that all go and move on. You have a family now, and you can’t let things drag you down. You said earlier they’re a priority, and they should be, but you should also be a priority to yourself. They need you to be the best version you can be, and I have no doubt in my mind you can be that person.”
