At once, my skin flushed warm with something suspiciously like embarrassment.God, that had been a lot.I shrugged, letting my hand drop away as I leaned on the wall separating us from the playground beyond, looking toward the kids again."I don't know about that.I'm still pretty fucked up, but Ididwarn you."I tried for a sly smile, but it felt wrong, inexpert."And it's not like I knew any different anyway.And the kids on the planet had it worse, so.I'm not complaining.I guess all I'm saying is thatourkids will be fine, I think."
I didn't want to talk about it.Ididwant to talk about it.Everything I felt about Seraphim was an impossible knot that I didn't think would ever work loose in my chest.It was the kind of thing that needed to be cut apart, and I didn't feel like wielding that blade against myself.
Across the grounds, Tef'an caught Adrathi and the two tumbled to the ground together.I could hear her bright trill even at this distance.As they were squirming and giggling, Adrathi's stare caught mine and she let out a yelp of delight, scrambling up to run full tilt at the place where Araxis and I were standing, her hand grasping at her friend's as she pulled him in close.
"This is our Araxis and youmetour Sashen already," she chirped happily as she drew near."Araxis, this is my best friend Tef'an.Did you know he hassixteenhatch-mates?"
Tef'an, a puff of gray fur with big eyes and the cutest upturned nose, snuffled and chortled, tugging at the fleshy fronds trailing to either side of his very round face."We didn't hatch from eggs, Adrathi, and we didn't all come from the same belly."
"They don't evencomefrom eggs," Adrathi said seriously, as if bringing very important information to Araxis."And – and Sashen didn't come from an egg either, right Sashen?"
"No, I didn't.I'm more like a brin than an abaya," I said, smiling down at them.
"And Tef'an asked if I can come over for supper –"
"– and Sadin and Talvi –" interrupted Tef'an.
"And Sadin and Talvi," continued Adrathi, pushing herself up to her toes, her feet bare although I was sure she'd left with shoes on that morning; at least,Ialways made sure she had shoes on when we went out the door."Since we're leaving soon!Tef'an is going to check with his parent after closing circle."
Tef'an continued to tug at his ear fronds, his tail wriggling behind him in a fit of nerves."Is it okay to invite abaya to our home?"he asked, eyes wide."Daddy says some people don't like to go to other people's homes because of theirculture.Was I rude when I asked?I didn't check first if it was rude.Daddy says it's also rude sometimes when I touch people who don't like that, like when I came over to your creche – Was that bad?"
Stars above, this child."You were a wonderful guest, Tef'an," I said, quick.
"It is not rude to ask if the children of Creche Thiel would like to visit," Araxis said gently."Tell me, who is your parent?I will go speak with them."
Tef'an peered through the gaps in the wall and pointed to a gray-furred brin who was laughing with another parent, hand stroking down their shoulder in what was, for brin, a casual gesture.
The gentle chime that marked the school's open and close sounded, and all the children began to pick their way toward Kekobu.I'd seen them do this before, forming a broad circle with their teacher while they chatted for a few more moments before the children trailed into the school to gather their things.Sadin scurried down the tree, pausing to help his friends, while Talvi placed the flowers they'd been playing with on their lap, listening seriously to Kekobu as she began speaking.
I let my attention drift over to Araxis, who was talking to Tef'an's parent.The brin said something, their bright stare catching mine while a broad, sharp grin flashed across their features, and I saw, even across this square, that Araxis had flushed silver, although he was smiling as well.
I waved, and the brin waved back, tail twitching in amusement as they jostled Araxis's shoulder affectionately, as if they'd been friends for ages.Inside the wall, the children had finished their circle and the gates to the yard opened with clusters spilling out in a cacophony of excitement.Adrathi ran into the building, and when she emerged, she had her shoes tugged back on.
By the time she'd met up with Sadin and Talvi, just inside the gate, Araxis had found my side again."We agreed on tomorrow after school.I'll have Thodin walk them there and back.I gather he worked with quite a few brin in Core Ward, so he is accustomed to their demeanour."
"Smart," I said.Then, tilting my head in a little closer, "What were they saying?"
Araxis huffed out a breath, looking at me sideways, still silver and adorable."He had some rather complimentary things to say about you.He said he much prefers it when you stop by when you're out for a run.He said that he hoped I –" He stopped, flushing an even deeper colour.
A grin tugged at the corners of my mouth."He hoped you what?"I asked, nudging him as the children began threading their way through the crowd toward us.
"That he hoped I enjoyed licking the sweat from your body," he finished in a rush, before Adrathi threw herself at my waist, squeezing me hard.
"Yeah," I said, delighted."They're an open bunch."
"Hm, yes," intoned Araxis, eyes sparkling."He extended another invitation to us, which I went ahead and declined.I hope you don't mind."
I barked out a laugh.Yeah, I could bet what kind of invitation a brin might extend to a couple who he was still watching with interest across the square."Yeah, that's fine," I said, dropping my voice to a whisper and craning my head next to Araxis's ear."Once you've been toonebrin orgy –"
"Look what I made you!"cried Talvi as they approached us, holding up the flowers they'd woven together."It's a crown!"
Araxis, his cheeks delightfully pink, looked anywhere but at me as I picked Adrathi up and nestled her against my side.He knelt down and dipped his head, and Talvi beamed as they put it over his crest, fussing as they settled it into place."You have my gratitude," he said in abayan.Then, in Standard, "Would we all like to go get sweet tea on the way home?"
Adrathi kicked her heels happily against my side and purred in delight, and even Sadin lit up like a firework.We headed away from school, walking down a small pedestrian road that was teeming with market stalls and brightly coloured storefronts.In the tiny tea shop, the children made their way to stand in line and were very serious when telling Araxis that they would place their orderson their own, while Araxis hung back and watched.It was a busy shop – there were a lot of brightly coloured posters and what felt like a dozen small candy-coloured tables in a place that should have housed no more than three – so I stepped outside to wait.
The road was divided by a verge with a raised lip and skinny trees that reached for a sun that wasn't there.I sat myself on the edge, kicking my heels against the ground and watching the shop facade.I could see the kids waffling over their choices through the front windows.Sadin went and asked Araxis a serious question, and looked put out when he got his answer, shuffling back toward the counter with his head ducked.Watching them like this – the three children burbling with enthusiasm, Araxis supervising with his arms crossed and crowned with flowers – made my chest ache in the most delicious way.
It felt like this wasn't something that should get to be mine.Like somewhere, the universe had made a mistake that had worked wonderfully in my favour, and I couldn't help but feel that one day, some accountant in a cosmic record-keeping warehouse would notice the clerical error and fate would come rushing in to correct the mistake.
