His glassy eyes were pleading as he turned to Rusty, and the Pyclon shook his head. “He didn’t; he couldn’t have. Toni’s a lot of things, but he would never have—Jude, you know he wouldn’t have let this happen. Not on purpose. Not like this.”
Shame and guilt crashed over the human’s face. “I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“We know,” Dex said, whining at the tear sliding down Jude’s cheek. “You’re just scared, and we all say things we don’t mean when we’re scared.”
Jude’s chin wobbled. “I can’t do this. I can’t. I just graduated and started a new job and I’m not even living with Toni. I mean, I’m pretty much living with him, but we never made it official.”
An alarm trilled, interrupting Jude’s tirade, and he pulled out his phone like it had grown teeth, silencing the timer. He looked at the cup and thoseinnocent looking sticks. He shook his head and backed away until his back met the wall.
“I can’t.” He fisted his shirt over his stomach. “I can’t. Rus, I can’t.”
Pushing off the adjacent wall, Rusty went to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “One way or another, you have to know.”
“But then it’s real,” he said brokenly, and Rusty’s tail drooped, curling around his foot.
He cupped Jude’s chin gently. “It’s already real.”
With a dry sob, Jude plopped his forehead on Rusty’s shoulder, shuddering as the Pyclon cupped the back of his neck. Rusty purred soothingly, but it wasn’t a happy sound. It was an offer of comfort, of compassion, of sorrow, and it made Dex’s eyes sting.
“Can you look?” Jude asked, not lifting his head from Rusty’s shoulder.
Rusty made eye contact with Dex and nodded at the cup.
“Me?” he asked, and when Jude nodded, Rusty gestured at the cup again, more forcefully this time. “Uh, sure, Jude. I’ll look at your pee-sticks. Happy to be the one to deliver life-altering news.”
Swallowing thickly, he approached the sink, praying to deities he’d never believed in for mercy. He grabbed hard plastic, metal, and laminated strips. He took a deep breath, hating the thick hormones wafting from the cup. Then he withdrew the pregnancy tests and laid them out on the lip of the sink, one by one.
With every double-line, checkmark, happy face, and positive color, Dex’s heart crumbled a little more. Eight tests. One negative. Seven positive.
Shit.
It took every ounce of strength and courage he possessed to turn and face the others. He met Rusty’s gaze first, and the Pyclon’s expression fell. Hesqueezed his eyes shut and tightened his grip on the back of Jude’s neck. It made the human look up, and Dex swore he could see every second of Jude’s heart shattering.
“I’m sorry,” Dex croaked out, and Jude’s breath hitched.
Then the human collapsed into Rusty’s arms and burst into tears. Rusty guided him to the floor where they knelt together, a tangle of limbs and grasping hands. Jude hid his cries of despair in Rusty’s neck, and the Pyclon chittered, curling his tail around Jude’s back to envelope him as best he could.
Dex whined and skidded to his knees beside them, throwing his arms around them both. He was the biggest, and he was strong; he would hold them together. It was the only thing hecoulddo.
Jude cried. Dex cried. Even Rusty cried.
And it wasn’t fair. Things like this were supposed to be good and happy. He thought of Quin and Glyma, and how they both glowed when they talked about the baby coming. He thought about his sister being born into the world, just the smallest thing, and how light she’d been in his hands as his mom said,“You’re a big brother now, Dexy. You gotta look out for her.”
But this? This was heartbreak and despair and grief. Oh gods, the grief was strangling, like the first plunge into ice water after an intense workout. The way he had to gasp for breath, those few seconds of terror that he’d never be able to breathe fully again.
It was like that, that world-ending panic, and it wasn’t fair.
“It’s gonna be okay,” Rusty crooned into Jude’s hair as the human’s gut-wrenching sobs quieted to soft cries, then wet hiccups, then sniffles. “You’re not alone. I’m right here.We’reright here. It’s gonna be okay.”
Nuzzling into Jude’s neck, Dex whined and snuffled, trying to leave his scent behind so the human would know he wouldn’t be facing a second ofthis by himself. Because pack was as much a choice as it was a feeling, and Dex had made his choice.
So he chuffed and nosed along Jude’s neck, thinking,pack, and,mine, and,ours. And,it’ll be okay, you’ll see; we’re in this together now.
As Jude cried himself out, Dex turned to Rusty and pressed his nose to the Pyclon’s cheek in question. Rusty’s whiskers twitched as those pale, pink eyes watched him, guarded and uncertain. Dex yipped softly, and Rusty chittered back. Then the Pyclon leaned in and brushed his cheek against Dex’s, fleeting but sure.
Dex sighed, soaking in the brief reprieve. This, this was what pack was for. This was what packwas. It would be okay, one way or another, because they were together, and together, pack could face anything.
“What am I gonna do?” Jude asked sometime later.
