“You know, I came out here to get away from everyone,” I say as I turn around to face him.
“And how’s that working out for you?”
The smug look on Ryder’s face is infuriating and my power reacts to it. A second later, I’m back on the ground.
“Stop doing that!” I yell to the fiery wings that have now embarrassed me twice. “Don’t look at me like that,” I snap at Ryder who is all but laughing at me.
He throws his hands into the air and rocks back on his heel. “Hey, who am I to get in between a phoenix and her wings.”
I don’t bother standing up this time. Instead, I lean back on my palms accepting defeat. “What are you doing here?”
“Someone reported unusual activity out here and I came to take a look.”
“Well, as you can see it’s just me. So, you can go now.”
“Alright. I’ll go if you want me to. Just thought you might want some help controlling those wings of yours, but it seems you’ve got it handled.” He turns around, slowly strolling away and I already hate how much he’s going to enjoy this.
“Stop,” I exhale dramatically. Although I would like nothing more than to be stubborn and let him walk away, I can’t deny he’s the best teacher I’ve had. If there wasn’t a war brewing, I might let him carry on but if I’m going to be of any use the next attack, I need to learn how to control these things. I reluctantly pick myself up off the ground. “Well… what do I do?”
He turns around and no part of him even tries to hide the cocky grin taking up half his face. As if that wasn’t boastful enough, he flares his fae wings out, shaking them as if to flaunt them.
“Mine are bigger,” I say with a smirk of my own.
“Oh, you think so?”
He flares them out again, but this time, shadows extend from them, creating a veil behind him.
“That’s cheating!”
“Whatever you gotta tell yourself, Princess.” He adds a wink and when he does, I go sliding back on my heels. “Whoa there.”
His ribbons of shadow stretch around me, keeping me from falling backwards. If the flames from my wings burn him, he doesn’t show any sign of it. Instead, he waits until I’m steady again before pulling them back.
“Sensitive little things,” he teases.
“Can you just tell me what to do before I end up on my ass again?”
“Alright, alright. I’ll be serious.” The smile still plastered on his face makes that hard to believe. “Okay, for starters, your wings are like a second pair of legs. Before you could run, you had to learn how to walk. And before you could walk, you had to crawl. It’s the same with your wings.”
“Okay…” I say, trying to follow his explanation. “So, what’s the wing equivalent of crawling?”
“Right now, they’re just getting used to the feeling of moving around. There’s no rhyme or reason to their movements. They’re just reacting to your emotions.”
“That sounds familiar,” I quip.
“It should. Just like your power is tied to your emotions, so are your wings. The first thing you need to do is connect with them. They should feel like an extra pair of legs or an extension of your arms. I want you to imagine an invisible string linking your wings to your wrists. Try moving your arms in front of you and think about that invisible string pulling your wings forward, too.”
I follow his directions and carefully bring my arms out in front of me. I keep them straight and envision the string. In my mind, I see a string attached to a doorknob and picture myself pulling it to shut the door. Out of the corner of my eye, I catch a glimpse of my fiery, bird-like wings slightly curving around me.
“Good job. Now, I want you to stretch your arms up into a V,” Ryder instructs. “It should feel like stretching first thing in the morning when your whole body shakes out the night’s slumber.” I can’t see them behind me, but I can feel my wings shimmy as they flare out, following my arms’ movement. “See, you’re getting the hang of it. Keep working at it until it feels natural. It’s just like in your Entity Drills when you had to master your Elemental Sphere first. Once you get this part down, we can work on the walking.”
To my surprise, Ryder turns around and starts walking away, leaving me to continue practicing on my own. He doesn’t even make some snarky comment on his way out. I suppose that’s my fault, though. We haven’t had the most pleasant interactions as of late.
“I understand,” I call out before he gets too far away, and I lose my nerve. He turns around but keeps the large gap between us. “I understand why you couldn’t tell me about my father. About the promise.”
“Trust me, I wanted to tell you. I would’ve if there was any other way, but after you knew about Damien and where I stood in all of this, I didn’t want to take that hope away from you. And selfishly, I didn’t want to give you another reason not to trust me. Though, that didn’t work out so well for me either.”
I can tell he’s sincere in what he’s saying. He could’ve at least told me back at the safe house after I knew everything else,but he let me continue to believe my father might still have been alive. But what would telling me back then have really changed? It wouldn’t have changed the truth and I wouldn’t have had Amaya there to comfort me.
