I bite my nail until the skin around it begins to bleed. I need coke badly, but Rupert has told his boys to stop selling it to me.
‘It’s messing with your head. I don’t want you to make mistakes. I don’t need a cokehead handling my money.’
I should have told Rupert I couldn’t do his dirty work anymore. I should have told him long before now. It’s getting too risky. But I need ten thousand to get me out of a mess, and at least I’ll be getting that today.
The lack of coke means I’ve started getting withdrawal symptoms. At one stage I could barely use the keyboard, my hands were shaking so much. So I took myself to Cowley: I’d overheard someone at the casino say that someone there, someone named Raven, had better coke than Rupert’s lot. I had to visit a dingy bar in a side alley to find him. There was a musclebound man – a bouncer or a bodyguard or something like that – on the door. He searched me. ‘You can go in.’
‘I’m here to see Raven,’ I said.
He’d grinned at me.
‘Hope you’ve got the dosh, man.’
I nodded. ‘I have.’
He spoke into his walkie-talkie, then, after a short conversation: ‘Okay,’ he said. ‘This way.’
I was led down a dark corridor, and fear gnawed at my stomach. Before I could turn back, the bouncer opened a door. Cigarette smoke drifted out from the room, and through the blue haze I saw a man sitting behind a large desk, his feet propped up on it.
The man stared at me for what felt like a long time. His dark hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and a solitary skull-shaped earring hung from one of his earlobes. The room was dimly lit, but I sensed other people there.
‘You're new to us, dude. How do you know about us?’ he asked. He had a slight accent that I couldn’t place. I explained about the casino.
‘Why don’t you get it from them?’ he asked suspiciously.
My throat was so dry that my voice was hoarse. ‘Someone said yours is top notch.’
‘Top notch,’ he said, and laughed. The others in the room laughed with him. ‘We can give you some top-notch stuff,’ he continued. ‘But it won’t be cheap.’
***
When I finally left, I was covered in sweat and a thousand pounds lighter, but I had my fix. I could work.
In the weeks between then and now, I’ve been to Cowley several times. I’ve become such a good customer that Raven lets me have my stash without paying immediately.
‘A loan,’ he says with a shrug.
But now I have barely anything in the bank, and I owe Raven a small fortune. I have tried to win money on the roulette table, but I’ve lost more than I’ve won. So now I have to tell him I don’t have the money. My heart is beating so fast I'm sure I will have a heart attack before I make it to Raven’s.
The bar is quiet and the temptation to drink is overwhelming, but I resist it and let the bodyguard take me through to Raven’s office.
‘Well, look who’s here,’ Raven says, and smiles. The smile doesn’t reach his eyes.
‘It’s about what I owe…’ I begin.
Raven stands up. He’s taller than I realised and towers over me. His breath stinks of stale tobacco. ‘We’ve been good to you,’ he says, ‘But you owe us. We’ve given you time to get the money together. I hate to see a grown man shaking, so we gave you a little gift last time. But you still owe us half from the time before.’
‘I’m getting it. I’ll have ten thousand tonight. A contractor owes me.’
Raven leans close to me.
‘I don’t like threatening people, Danny, but it would be a huge shame to break up that lovely little family of yours. And trustme, it won’t beyourlegs we’ll break. I’m not stupid enough to damage the person who owes me – I don’t want to make it harder for you to get me my money but sometimes a little incentive helps. You get my drift?’
At that, my legs almost give way. I can’t let anything happen to Jo or my son. Raven hasn’t finished, though.
‘Now, you meet me here tomorrow at seven, and you make sure you have the money. Got it?’
I nod.
