I pour myself a whisky, nursing it between sips. There’s only one way out of this mess. I know it. But every time the thought takes shape, my stomach turns. Can I go through with it?
I keep telling myself it isn’t my fault. I tried, God knows I tried. But Donald always wanted more.
I let the whisky calm me. The same solution keeps circling back, relentless. My only choice. My last card to play. Nic once showed me how to get onto the dark web. We were both wasted, laughing about how easy it was.
‘Best porn, mate,’ he joked.
Five minutes later, I’m pulling an old laptop out from under the bed, brushing off a coat of dust. It’s been dead for months, but I put in the charging cable and it boots up. My hands tremble on the keyboard. My heart feels like it might tear itself out of my chest.
I’ve spent hours searching for another way, but there is none.
I have to let Jo go.
Click by click, I work my way through, following link after link until I find the kind of place I’m looking for. My finger hovers over the chat room link for almost thirty minutes. I know that once I enter, there’s no undoing this.
When I finally click, something strange happens. I feel detached, like I’m watching someone else on the computer. Not me. Just a man who looks like me.
It takes a while to find the right person. We talk in a clipped, emotionless manner. It’s as if we’re arranging a courier delivery rather than a murder. We use code names. No trace.
We haggle over the price. Arrange a rough timeline. I learn how to buy Bitcoin, which turns out to be easier than I thought. He says he needs time to watch the house and plan the hitproperly. He’ll need a key and sends me a PO box address. I’ll ask Nicola to post it.
‘How do I know you won’t just take the money and vanish?’ I ask.
‘You don’t,’ he replies. ‘You have to trust me.’
He says it will be done within days. If there are any problems, we’ll use the chat room.
‘I’ll need proof,’ I tell him.
‘The police will get a letter and a flash drive from your kidnapper. You’ll have proof.’
‘I want the bodies destroyed,’ I say, my voice catching on the wordbodies.
‘Costs more.’
I pay the extra. He promises to dump the van. ‘You just forget all about it,’ he says.
And that’s it. In less than an hour, I’ve arranged for my wife to die. My freedom has a price, and it’s higher than I imagined.
Chapter Seventy-Five
Joanna
That night, I sleep in the master bedroom, and Nev stays on the sofa. I wake up disoriented, and immediately panic attacks my body. Memories of the night before come flooding into my mind. I start shaking from the shock. I’m struggling to come to terms with the fact that Daniel is behind my kidnapping and that he plotted to murder me. We could have sold the flat to raise the money he needed.
As it is, Nev saved my life, while Daniel had no qualms about taking it and leaving Joel without a mother. At first, I wanted to go to the police and tell them the truth, but how could we convince them that Nev was coerced into it and did it to keep me safe? Nev is the only person with a key to the house. He looks guilty as hell, and if I’m honest, I have another reason for keeping the police away. I want revenge. I want Danny to suffer the way I have. Last night, Neville cycled to the lock-up to retrieve his car and belongings, while I sat plotting my revenge.
***
Joanna
I wear Neville’s coat; its hood helps to hide my face. It’s easy enough to get syringes and needles from the chemist. I know exactly what we need.
Nev buys a flash drive. We’ve decided to follow the instructions that Danny gave to the killer and provide photographs for authenticity.
Nev is hesitant, afraid he’ll hurt me while drawing blood. It takes time to reassure him, but even with my guidance, it hurts like hell. I could have done it myself, but it would’ve been more difficult. The pain is worth it. A small amount of blood can look like so much more when smeared.
Time is limited, and I worry Danny might panic and come to the house if he doesn’t hear from the hit man soon. Neville searches online but can’t find the chat room. ‘He must have used the dark web,’ he says.
