Page 46 of The Way We Swing

I nearly swerved. “No. Absolutely do not describe it.”

He laughed. “The lights were off, so I didn’t see much. But enough that I’ll have to tell my therapist about it.”

Shocked, I said, “You see a therapist?”

“Might have to start after that.”

We both laughed, and I immediately knew I didn’t have to worry with Gavin. The emotional weight I had been feeling for months—years, really—was fading. Only by a little, though.

Even still, I had to ask.

“Are you going to tell anybody what you saw?” I tried to keep my voice level.

“What am I going to do? Go tell my friends that I walked in on my brother having sex? Nope, nobody is ever going to find that out, Tanner.”

Laughter fell into silence again. My hands were finally starting to loosen around the steering wheel.

“So,” Gavin started, “are you like…gay?”

So much for my grip loosening on the wheel.

My mouth felt dry. Saying it out loud felt like throwing a stone through a window I’d been pretending didn’t exist. But he already knew the truth.

“I think so, Gav,” I whispered.

“Do you like girls, too?”

“No. I don’t.”

“Didn’t you go to a dance with a girl? Zach said you kissed her.”

“All fake, Gavin. I had to be straight.”

Gavin clicked and unclicked his seat belt like it was a toy. I flipped the wipers on and off, unsure what else to do as I waited for a response.

“You don’t have to fake it with me, Tanner. I don’t care if you only like boys.”

I wanted to pull over the car and hug Gavin right then and there. But I didn’t.

“Thanks, Gav.”

“You can’t get all weird and stuff, though.”

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t be like watching romantic movies and crying all the time. Or quit playing baseball.”

“Do you think that being gay is just crying and not being into sports?”

“I don’t know, Tanner. You’re the only gay person Iknow. I don’t want you to be different from who you are now is all.”

Why couldn’t I stop smiling?

For so long, I had been bracing for the worst—not only with this conversation with Gavin, but my entire life. But we were on the same page. As long as I continued to be who I’d always been, he was going to love me. It didn’t matter if I liked guys or girls.

“Promise you won’t change either, now that you know.”

“What about Easton?”