Page 47 of The Way We Swing

There it was. The real reason we needed to talk. My leg spasmed, and my foot went down harder on the gas pedal as we got onto the highway.

I didn’t respond, but that didn’t stop Gavin.

“Are you two, like, dating? Do you love him?”

Too many questions that I wasn’t sure I knew the answers to. Too many questions I hadn’t stopped thinking about.

“Which one do you want me to answer first?”

“The first one. Because I’m pretty sure I know the answer to the second.”

“No, we aren’t dating. I’m not even sure I know what we are to each other. He’s…not ready. And even more than for me, you can’t tell anyone because of him. He’s definitely not ready for anyone to find out. And you shouldn’t ever out someone who isn’t ready for it.”

“I won’t. He’s my brother, too. I texted him and told him I wouldn’t say anything this morning—he hasn’t responded yet, though. He’s probably still asleep. Or he’s really embarrassed. He might be at his grandparents playing his sad-boy music.”

“Not once has he done that,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“Yeah, he has. When you aren’t with him.”

I blinked. News to me.

“Does Zach know? Are you going to tell Mom and Dad?”

“You’re the only one who knows, dude. I have no idea what Mom and Dad are going to say, which is another reason this needs to stay a secret. You can do that?”

“If I need to,” he said.

I looked over at him. He stretched the hood of his sweatshirt over his head, just like I did when I got into an awkward conversation.

Gavin was always going to be the easiest person to tell, though. He didn’t care about anything.

But somehow, even with only one person knowing, I already felt like I was less of a secret.

CHAPTER 17

It was New Year’s Eve, and Zach and I sat in the back seat of Ricky’s car, driving to Maddux’s house. Every year, Maddux’s parents went out of town for New Year’s, and every year, he threw a kegger that they pretended not to know about.

“Hey, have you talked to Easton since Christmas?” Zach asked.

“No. Is Nicole coming tonight?” I asked to change the subject as quickly as possible.

The weight I’d shrugged off after talking to Gavin returned with a vengeance. Easton hadn’t texted me back in a week. Not once.

“Yeah, she’s meeting me there. Silas told me Easton is coming, too.” Zach glanced at me, but I made sure not to give him a reaction.

I fidgeted with my phone, hoping his name would stop being said. I didn’t want to talk about him until I had a chance to see him, but, apparently, he wasn’t texting Zach back, either, and Zach was fishing for the reason why.

We got to our destination, and Ricky parked the car in Walmart’s parking lot. Maddux’s house was right down the street, and parking at Walmart seemed safer than to have a dozen cars at Maddux’s.

My senses ignited when the door opened. What had originally been a ten-person sausage fest was now a full-on high-school party. Music blasted in three different rooms, and, for the first time in four years, there were nearly the same number of girls as guys.

Zach left the three of us to find Nicole while Ricky and I started toward the kitchen to grab the first beer of the night. We got to the keg, and I started to pump out two Natty Lights. The smell of stale beer hung in the air.

Then I saw him. Laughing with Ashley like nothing had happened. Like I was another NPC in his party montage. My chest tightened before I even realized I’d stopped breathing.

“Maddux, Easton. Come do a shot with us!” Ricky said, grabbing a handle of vodka off the top of the fridge.

Maddux walked over to us; with no hat on, his red hair jumped out like flames.