Page 48 of The Way We Swing

Easton glanced at Ricky and me before saying, “I’m good,” and turning back to Ashley.

“Since when does Easton turn down a shot?” Ricky asked Maddux, who grabbed three glasses from the shelf.

“First time I’ve ever seen it,” said Maddux.

“More for us,” Ricky said, pouring out the three drinks.

I left the kitchen as soon as I swallowed, not wanting to spend another second there. Music pounded in my ears; I couldn't think. God, I hated the crap that always played at parties.

Easton refusing alcohol just because he saw me? Another rejection.

I wanted to walk up to him and give him a bloody nose. I wanted to walk over to him and kiss him as if no one in the world would care. I wanted to tackle him into the wall. I wanted to say all the words I had never had the courage to before.

Instead, I settled for going into Maddux’s basement and turning on a college football game. I sat on the couch, happy to be in a place without music booming and people everywhere. If I couldn’t be around Easton, I didn’t want to be around anyone. I had hoped we’d talk tonight, but I now knew we wouldn’t.

My stomach ached like nothing I’d ever experienced before, and it had nothing to do with the alcohol I continued to drink. I fiddled with my phone, hoping for a text but not a conversation.

On the TV, Boise State was up almost five touchdowns. I wasn’t paying attention.

“I thought I saw you come down here.” The words snapped me out of my trance, and Zach stood on the stairs.

“There’s a game on,” I said, glancing at the TV.

Zach looked over as well and said, “Tanner. It’s 35-3.”

“It’s good football.”

“What’s going on, Tanner?”

“Just not in the partying mood.”

“This is your favorite party of the year,” Zach said. “This is the only party of the year you like at all.”

“There’s one too many people here this time,” I said, trying to sound cryptic.

“Who’s that?” Zach said. The leather squealed as he sat on the couch and handed me another beer.

I kept my eyes forward, not able to look at him, not wanting to give anything away. After how easy it had been with Gavin, I thought about telling him. I figured he already knew.

But he wasn’t Gavin. I had no idea how he’d react, and I couldn’t risk it. Zach was older than Gav, and he knew better what this meant.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Does to me.”

Zach and I had always been close. Maybe not as close as Gavin and I, but we could still talk about everything. Not this, though. Whether to protect Easton or to protect myself, I decided this wasn’t the time. “I’ll tell you someday.”

“Okay,” Zach sighed. “Just don’t let him get to you too much. Take a couple of minutes, and then come upstairs and hang out with Nicole and me. Tonight should be fun. You could always try to make nice with him, too.”

Zach headed for the stairs, and I opened my mouth to stop him—but by the time I found the will, he was already gone.

What he said was true, but the wound felt too raw to face at the moment. I watched more of the lopsided football game and finished the beer Zach had handed me. When the game ended, I decided it was time to rejoin the party.

Before I could find Zach and Nicole, though, Ricky ran into me. “There you are, Tanner. I’ve been looking for you. We’ve got next at beer pong. Time to defend our title.” He yanked at my T-shirt, forcing me to follow him to the loudest room in the house.

Every year, there was a tournament, and Ricky and I had won last year. We walked into the living room, and massive poster boards lined the wall. Silas wanted a thirty-two-team tournament this year, and he’d achieved his goal—the entire board was filled with names.

“Who do we have first this year?” I asked, trying to find our names.