Page 52 of The Way We Swing

CHAPTER 19

Iran until my lungs burned, my legs felt like Jell-O, and my head cleared. Somewhere between the miles, I realized I no longer feared the truth. Not really. I didn’t have many doubts that Easton would talk to Gavin, but I did wonder if today would be the day I came out to the team. The idea bothered me less than ever. It may have been the adrenaline coursing through me or, selfishly, the knowledge that revealing the truth would expose Easton as well, making all of this easier to handle.

I got back to the seniors’ hotel room and jumped in the shower, letting the warm water massage the back of my neck. After I finished showering, I killed fifteen minutes listening to Ricky talk about how on-base percentage was the most important thing in baseball and that I should try to draw more walks this year.

About two hours after I had left Easton, I walked to the room I was sharing with Zach and Gavin, used my key card, and entered.

Zach sat on their bed, and he smiled when he saw me. “Whatever you said to Easton…it worked.”

“What do you mean?”

Zach led me outside the hotel, where we sat at a table in front of the entrance. Beside us, flowers bloomed, something we hadn’t seen yet back in Missouri. Around the corner, I heard the crisp pop of a ball in a glove—then I saw them. Easton tossed pop flies while Gavin scrambled to catch them.

I grinned, looking on with excitement. “What happened?”

“I was going to ask you that,” said Zach. “Easton came to the room and said he needed to talk to Gavin, so I gave them the room. They talked for a half hour, and then Gavin came and asked if I wanted to play catch with Easton. I told him Easton was all his, and they’ve been out here for the last hour. Oh, and Easton said he’s buying me dinner tonight, just the two of us.”

A grin stuck to my face as I looked into the distance. I watched Easton throw the ball a hundred feet in the air. Gavin was too busy tracking the ball to notice Easton. He snuck up on Gavin, and before Gavin realized what was going on, Easton wrapped him up and tackled him to the ground. Gavin tried to fight Easton off, but Easton pinned him down, laughing at Gavin’s futile efforts.

“Gavin missed him a lot. Easton’s really good with him,” Zach said.

“I know. That’s a big reason I fell for the dude.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

I left it at that for a minute, watching as the two boys continued to wrestle as I grappled with the potential negative outcomes of what I had said. I'd weighed the pros and cons on my run, and I decided I had the odds to finally say it.

I sat nearly motionless—not out of nerves, just calm.

“Zach, I’m gay,” I said. It was the first time I had said those words out loud. Even when I’d talked to Gavin, I’d avoided saying them.

“Tanner, I think I like Nicole.”

“Huh?”

“I thought we were saying things that were painfully obvious.”

I hated him.

“How could you know?”

“Do you want me to list all the reasons?”

“Jackass.”

Without thinking, I asked the second question that came to mind. “Did you also know that Easton and I had been hooking up?”

Zach laughed. “Why do you think I would always go to bed earlier than you two when he would spend the night?”

“You shithead. You should have said something!”

“Wasn’t my place to say. Plus, I wasn’t positive. I didn’t know for sure until Easton stopped talking to all three of us at the same time. You might piss him off, sure, but I knew we all didn’t,” he said. “I knew you’d tell me at some point.”

“Are you okay with all of this?”

“What would I have to be not okay with?”