Page 32 of Eddie

Matthias wasn’t sure he’d ever been allowed to prioritize himself. It had been ingrained in him to always put his family first, never mind how he felt or what he wanted or needed. He’d have to learn, and he was sure that Eddie would help him. Matthias could be a priority sometimes, too. He’d never felt like it, but something told him that was about to change.

THIS WASN’T WHAT EDDIE had expected. It was what he’d hoped for, but he knew how entrenched Matthias was with his family, even though they’d only just met. He’d heard Matthias talk about his parents and his siblings often enough and for long enough to know. They’d been the center of his world.

Well, not anymore. They had been the center of his world, but he’d chosen Eddie. He was here because of Eddie. He wanted Eddie.

That was everything Eddie had wanted, but now that he had it, he wasn’t sure what to do with it. He wanted to cheer, to tell Matthias that he’d done the right thing, but now he felt guilty. He hadn’t wanted Matthias to go no-contact with his family. He just wanted to come first, but Matthias had shut them down entirely.

Was he going to regret it? Would he blame Eddie for it? Only the future would tell.

But they had a future, something Eddie hadn’t been sure of until now. He’d been convinced that in the end, Matthias would choose his family because it was all he’d ever known. Instead, he’d chosen Eddie. He’d chosen their bond.

It was a lot to take in. It was especially a lot considering that Eddie had been surprised by Matthias’s presence. The last person he’d expected to walk into the diner tonight had been his mate, yet there Matthias was, standing in front of him, offering him the world.

“Eddie?” Matthias asked, sounding hesitant. “I’m prioritizing myself by choosing you. I need you to know that. I need you to know that choosing you is the only thing I could possibly have done. I’m happy to have done it. As much as I love my family, I’m not sure they love me. Even if they do, they’ve always been too happy to take advantage of me, and I should’ve put a stop to that a long time ago. I didn’t, and it’s entirely my fault. It’s my fault that our relationship got off to a rocky start, not yours.”

“I never wanted you to have to choose between them and me.”

“I didn’t want to, either, but you weren’t the one who pushed me to do so. They were. I tried talking to them so many times, Eddie. They never listened, and they never changed. Part of me is relieved that I’m free of them, even though I worry, but maybe this is what they need. Maybe having to stand on their own two feet without me helping them is going to finally help them grow up. The way I was behaving wasn’t helping any of them, especially not Noah and Jenna. I can’t know for sure what’s going to happen to them or how they’ll react, but I can’t force them to do anything. They’re adults. They can make their own decisions, just like I made mine.”

“I just never want you to regret this. I don’t want you to regret being with me.”

“I don’t think it’s possible for me to feel that way. You’re my mate, and that’s more important than any family member, especially family members who don’t treat me right.” Matthias hesitated. “I’m sorry that I didn’t treat you right. I should have.”

“I wouldn’t say that you didn’t treat me right. You were focused on your family, and I understood, even though I felt pushed aside. I should’ve given you more time and space.”

“No. You behaved the right way and did the right thing. I needed to hear that you were unhappy with our situation to realize just how messed up everything was. I shouldn’t have needed that, but it is what it is. Now that I do understand, I’m going to do my best to fix it.”

“There’s nothing to fix,” Eddie whispered. “There was nothing broken to begin with. We had a rocky start, but maybe that was meant to be. Maybe you needed this to be able to clearly see your family and the future you would’ve had if you’d chosen them.”

“I don’t think I would ever have seen that so clearly if I hadn’t met you.”

“Maybe, maybe not. I don’t think wondering about it is going to change anything. What happened, happened, and you made your decision, just like your family made theirs.” Eddie hesitated. He wanted more, but was it fair to ask that of Matthias now? Or should he wait? Matthias was here for a reason, and that was to be with Eddie. Maybe it was better for them to put everything on the table right now. He didn’t want them to start fighting again tomorrow or the day after that.

Not that they’d been fighting. They’d actually been trying very hard not to fight. Eddie hadn’t wanted Matthias to feel cornered, and he hadn’t wanted to push Matthias out of his life. Matthias was here to stay, though, or at least, that was what it sounded like.

“Are you going to move to Green Hill?” he asked before he could think better of it. He needed to know. He wanted to be prepared. Matthias’s family might be out of his life, but that didn’t mean Matthias wouldn’t welcome them back eventually. When he did, he’d probably want to be closer to them.

“I think it’s the best way to handle this,” Matthias said. “Not only because I want to be close to you. If I stay back home, my family’s going to try to weasel their way back into my life. They know where I live and where I work. They know where I hang out. I don’t want to give them any kind of access. It would make things too easy for them and more complicated for me, and I don’t want that.”

“But your sister knows about me, right? At the very least, she saw me. That means she knows about Green Hill.”

“She knows you’re my mate. I told her, but so far, she hasn’t said anything about you to anyone. That might change, but it’s something I’ll have to deal with when it happens.”

“And what will you do then? What will you do if your family tries to get back into your life?”

Matthias sighed and looked up at the darkening sky. “It’s not going to be easy. I think my first instinct will be to try to help them, but I know it’s not right. They need to learn to do things by themselves, and if they can’t, well, it’s not my problem. It can’t be. I’ve sacrificed my life for them for way too long. I’m done with that. It’s time to focus on myself, and on you, since you’re in my life now.”

Matthias was saying all the right things. Eddie desperately wanted to believe all of it, but he knew there was a chance he’d have to deal with Matthias’s family in the future. They might be too proud to admit they needed him now, but eventually, they’d realize that they did. The next time Noah was in jail, or Jenna broke up with her boyfriend, they wouldn’t have anyone to call. They’d know then that they’d messed up, and they’d try to get Matthias back. Matthias was saying all the right things, but Eddie wasn’t sure he could stand strong against that.

But that was what Eddie was there for, wasn’t it?

Eddie pushed away from the truck and toward Matthias. “I know that dealing with your family is never going to be easy on you or on me. I know for sure that they’ll try to get back into your life, and when they do, you’re going to hesitate because you love them and you feel responsible, even though you really aren’t. And when that happens, I’ll be there to support you. I’ll be there to remind you that we’re a unit. There’s no way to separate us, especially once we bond. If your family wants you, they have to take me too, and I won’t be nearly as nice with them as you always are.”

And something told Eddie that would probably be enough to keep them at arm’s length. They’d still try, but they’d soon realize they couldn’t get to Matthias without going through Eddie first.

Matthias looked hopeful. “Yeah?”

“Of course.” Eddie took his hand again. “Now, I don’t know about you, but I’ve had enough of talking about your family. What do you think about getting out of here?”