Motion in my peripheral vision distracts me, and I spin to see him. Heat engulfs my face, spreading lower in my body, and my mouth is suddenly dry. All rational thoughts make a beeline exit out of my head as I drink in every inch of him, every curve of his muscular legs clothed in black. He's a behemoth of a man, radiating power as he strolls leisurely towards me like he owns the place.He does own the place, Renna. And so will you, in an hour.
It's his shirt that's my undoing, tailored perfectly to him. It sits perfectly across broad shoulders, the shape of his chest visible beneath. It's tailored to his arms, but not tight, and it's crafted from the same fabric that I'm wearing now. Something about Rexxan clad head-to-toe in black has me all hot and bothered.
"If my past self could see me now," he shakes his head in disbelief, his eyes sliding down my body at a lazy pace, running back up again just as slow. "He'd wonder what I could possibly have done in my life to deserve to even lay my eyes on you."
"Rexxan," I whisper, finally unfreezing from the spot and running over to him, launching myself into his embrace. He's hard already and I laugh when he suggests we sack off the wedding and go straight for our one-day-long honeymoon.
I take his arm, and side by side we walk through the hallway, smiling at the guards who open the double doors into the dining room which erupts into cheers, everyone clapping our arrival at the large dinner table that seats all of us.
"You looksopretty, Renna. He's a very lucky man, and you're a lucky woman," says Siddie, kissing my cheeks as I hug him hard. I thank him through the emotion that tightens my throat and somehow hold it together until I reach the last person in the line.
Onyx looks at me with what I can only describe as undiluted fatherly pride. "You look so grown up, Rennalya. He's the luckiest man alive," he says, tears glittering in those yellow eyes. I wipe my own away, but they are just as quickly replaced. We both miss Stellan tonight.
Rexxan pulls out my chair, sitting me between him and Onyx. I rest my head on my brother's shoulder as we chat happily with Lynna and Talyn whilst Rexxan talks with some of my hunters. Lynna is opposite me, heart-achingly beautiful, and I catch sweet glances between her and Onyx every now and then.
I've not always had a lot of love in my life, but this room is teeming with it. It's suffocating in the most beautiful of ways.
Rexxan has chosen every element of this meal for me, from it being my three favourite dishes to the fact that, against palace protocol, everyone only has one knife and fork. I hate trying to work out which is which. As our first course plates are cleared, Onyx clears his throat, shoving his sword into the polished wood floor to use to help him stand. That is probably a fortune's worth of damage to the solid cherrywood flooring, but Rexxan doesn't seem to care.
“I’m…I’m not good at this kind of thing," he shuffles uncomfortably, hating that people are looking at him, so I squeeze his hand. I nod at him, silently telling him that he’s doing fine.
"But in place of the father of the bride, Rexxan asked if I'd say a couple of words," he says. He's nervous, but he carries on. "Ren...when I was adopted, I didn't get the loving parents I'd wished for, but I got love by the bucketload from you. I…,” his voice wavers, and so does my heartbeat, "…I've spent my life protecting you, and I'm handing that responsibility over now...but I'll always be here for you, just like when we were small. I'll never let you get hurt."
Fuck my life. I feel like my heart is breaking. Onyx is holding back tears, and I'm not entirely sure that they're happy ones. His yellow gaze meets Rexxan's. "And Rexxan. We got off to a shaky start, I know. But I want you to know that there's no one else I'd trust more with my sister. I've seen the change in her, the joy that she carries when she's with you and Poppy. So, I want to thank you for making her so happy. But nothing has changed—hurt her and I will kill you," he adds, hastily.
Rexxan stands and leans over to clap him on the shoulder. "I'd expect nothing less."
It's what I hear Rexxan whisper to Onyx as they embrace that puts me on the edge of sobbing.
There's room for us both in her life, Onyx. Never doubt that.
I stand after we've eaten chicken pie. "I'm even worse at speaking than my big brother," I say, whacking him on the shoulder. Onyx just laughs, shaking his head at me in despair.
"I have no blood relation to anyone in this room, or in fact this entire world," I tell them, trying to remember the speech I planned in the bath this morning. "But I've never felt more surrounded by family in my entire life. I didn't come to the Forest Kingdom to fall in love. But I did, and I couldn't be gladder that I'm marrying the incredible bathroom that captured my heart on my first day here."
They laugh, and I grin at Rexxan. I'm notjustmarrying him for the bathroom, but it definitely sweetens the deal. I thank Siddie first, because my friendship with him has been the most unexpected blessing from all of this. I thank Frian and the other guards, because they have kept Rexxan going through the perpetual stress of his entire life.
Next, I thank Lynna, because I could never possibly have imagined that a relationship with my husband's ex-lover could have enriched my life by so much, but it has, and she is an inspiration to me in all that I do. I thank Annaliya, because everything I've done over the last two years, including leaving camp to meet Rexxan and leaving to get the River Stone, is because she never fails to step up to lead the army when I'm dragged away. I am surrounded by strong women. I am one myself.
And very briefly, because it makes me cry, I thank Stellan, even though he isn't here to listen—not that he’d be listening anyway—because it was him who pushed me to give my relationship with Rexxan a chance.
I take a deep breath to thank Onyx, but nothing comes out of my mouth. There are no words in the tongues of all the Five Kingdoms that could ever do justice to how much I love him. I take another trembling breath, but instead just I shake my head, my hand covering my mouth as I feel a warm tear running down my cheek. I cannot say anything I want to him without breaking down.
He. Is.Everything.
He hasalwaysbeen my everything.
My childhood superhero. My father figure. My brother. Mybestfriend. My guiding light. The calming voice in my nightmares. The one to patch up my grazes as a small child. He has been the constant reminder that there is kindness left in the world even when it feels so insurmountably dark. There is nothing, and I meannothing, I wouldn't do for Onyx. There is no pain I wouldn't suffer to see him happy. There is no torture I would not endure to see the weights that tie him down removed.
But as my tearful eyes hold onto his, absolutely none of that comes out of my mouth. Instead, I just hand him a two-page letter that contains everything I want to tell him but can't.
Like the fact that he is worthsomuch more than he thinks. That he is the reason I am still here today. That he is the embodiment of all the good in the world. That even though he thinks he'll be lost now I'm married, he'll actually befree. Free from the ties that my parents bound him in. Free of me and the curse I have been to him for so long.
"I'm sorry. I’ll read it to you," I say, as I try and pull myself together. Rexxan doesn't intervene, and I love that about him. He lets me say what I need to, he lets me break down and then find my own strength.
Onyx folds the paper and tucks it into his jacket pocket. ‘I get it,’ he mouths, with a reassuring smile. I nod, squaring my shoulders and turning to the man who has changed it all.
"But to you, Rexxan, I don't know where to start. I've never met anyone like you, and I know I never will again. I've never met someone so driven, so hardworking, and so selfless. I met you at a time when I woke up each day and chose to hide who I am and where I’m from, and you taught me to be proud of it. I truly believe that together, we are utterly unstoppable. And... oh,fuck. I had so much written down! It's on a piece of paper in my bedside table!"
