Page 27 of Before I Lost You

“You are a caveman after all,” he says with a chuckle.

Kenneth lies down on his side, and I begin to get up so I can go get him a wet rag to clean up with. But before I can go to the bathroom, he stops me.

“No,” he says softly. “We can clean up later. Come lie with me.”

My feet carry me back to bed quickly, and when I’m back at his side, I pull him into my arms and kiss the top of his head. He sighs contentedly, and I close my eyes as he buries his face in the crook of my neck, throwing a leg over me. It makes me wonder if he cuddles with everyone or if I’m special. I’m too scared to hope for the latter, but I long for it with all my heart.

“Tell me about your dreams,” he says, and my breath catches in my throat. There’s no way he knows I’ve been dreaming about him. “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

Somewhere with you.

“Married,” I reply hesitantly. “Happy. I’d have a stable job, but not work on weekends. I’d have time to travel.”

“Hmm,” Kenneth hums. “Do you want kids?”

I hesitate again. “Not really. I kind of have envisioned my partner and me living our lives to the fullest.”

Kenneth’s finger draws shapes over my chest, a heart, I think. “I feel the same.” I relax a little, and he must feel it because he chuckles.

“What are your dreams?” I ask him softly.

“I’m honestly not sure,” he replies, sighing. “It feels like I already have it all. My studio, the fame, the money. I’m only missing one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“Love,” Kenneth says to me in a small voice. “I’m not even sure it exists.”

That makes me want to shake him. I want to yell that it does exist—withme. I can love him the way he deserves to be loved. “I promise it does,” I tell him instead.

“I’ve never felt it before. Not even with my ex,” he replies. “I’m not sure I want to.”

I frown. “Why not?”

“I’ve heard it hurts like a bitch.” Kenneth chuckles, but my frown doesn’t go away.

“Only when it’s over,” I tell him. “But when it doesn’t end, it can be…”

“What?”

“Transformative,” I say, and he lifts his head to look up at me. I feel his stare on my face, but I keep my eyes on the ceiling. “Life changing.”

“How do you know?” he asks.

“I just do.”

Kenneth chuckles. “Of course you do. You know everything when it comes to being in love, huh?”

“I know some things.” I grin, finally making eye contact with him. His eyes sparkle when I shift to my side and face him. “Want me to show you?”

He gets closer, laying his head on my pillow and leaning in until our noses brush. “And if I do?”

“I’d tell you the truth,” I whisper.

“Which is?”

“If you let me love you, I’d cradle your heart in my hands and never hurt you.” His eyes widen when I say this. “I’d show you how real love truly is, and then I’d never let you go.”

“Is that what you want?” His voice is small, but he leans in further, the brush of his lips against mine making me tremble.