Page 32 of Before I Lost You

Her eyes widen, “He doesn’t want you to know—”

“Too fucking late for that, isn’t it?” I growl. “Tell me where the fuck he is.”

Jasmine winces but gives me the name of the hospital, and I put my mochi back into the freezer. I’m not sure why Kenneth didn’t tell me it was this bad already. It hurts that he doesn’t think he can lean on me, but I’m about to show him he’s wrong. I have to be there.

“Conrad,” Jasmine says, just above a whisper. “Take care of him.”

“Always,” I vow. “I’m going there right now.”

“And his heart,” she adds, and I frown. “Take care of his heart. He’s soft, even if he doesn’t show it.”

I nod, acknowledging her statement. “I know he is. But I’ve got him, Jasmine. I swear it. He’s mine—and I take care of what’s mine.”

At this, she smiles. “I’ve never seen him this way, just so you know.”

“What way?”

“Obsessed with someone,” Jasmine says with a twinkle in her eye, and my stomach flips at her admission. If there’s anyone in this world who knows Kenneth, it’s Jasmine. “He really, really likes you. He’s gotten his hopes up, and that’s not like him at all. I don’t know what you did to him, but he wants more with you. That hasneverhappened before.”

“What does he want?” I breathe.

“A relationship.” She shrugs. “He wants it all.”

He wants it all.

My heart skips a beat. “I want it all, too,” I whisper.

“Go get your man.” Jasmine winks, and I nod quickly. Before I can walk away, she says, “Oh, and Conrad?” I look at her expectantly, tilting my head to the side, waiting for her to continue. “He’s not just going to let you in. You have to show him you’re a safe person. Words don’t matter to him. He has to know it in his bones.”

I nod.

“Everyone always walks away from him,” she continues. “His dad left him when he was a toddler.”I know.“He didn’t want to be a dad. Ken trusts no one—he’s convinced everyone leaves because that’s what they’ve shown him. You need to be the one willing to stay.”

“I am,” I tell her with conviction. “I’m the one who stays.”

Jasmine smiles softly, her eyes misty. “I hope so.” We stare at each other for a beat, and then she nods. “Go get him. He needs you.”

“See you later, Jasmine,” I tell her right before I sprint out of the grocery store.

I catch an Uber instead of going back home for my car, not wanting to make the trip back and waste more time. I need to get to him as soon as possible. Pulling out my phone, I go to our messages and type one out quickly.

Me: Ken, we need to talk. Please call me.

A moment later, the read receipt appears below it. I hold my breath as the bubbles pop up and disappear. This goes on for what feels like forever, but when they’re gone for a minute, I know he’s changed his mind. He’s not going to reply.

I blow out a big breath and decide to make an even bigger fool of myself, then hit call. It rings three times, then goes to voicemail. He rejected my call. I scoff, irritation coursing through me. Why doesn’t he want to talk to me? Why is he running away? If there’s anyone in this world who’d understand what he’s going through, it’s me.

“Call me, Kenneth,” I say tightly when the voicemail beeps. “Now.”

The hospital is on the outskirts of the city, and the trip feels like it takes a fucking lifetime. Thankfully, it’s not traffic hour. I’d rip out my damn hair if it was. When we finally pull up to the emergency room entrance, I practically run out of the car and into the building. The kind nurse at the reception desk points me in the direction of the oncology unit, and I speed walk to the elevator. I want to run to him, demand they let me see him, but I also need to let him make the decision. I’m here for him, whether he wants me to be or not. Now he has to either let me in or tell me to leave.

Me: Come to the lobby of the oncology unit.

Kenny: Huh?

Me: I said come to the lobby, Kenneth.

He reads the message immediately, but doesn’t reply. I pace the lobby, back and forth over and over again, wondering if I made a mistake. Am I crazy for showing up here uninvited? Probably. But I need to see him. I need him to know that I’m here for him, no matter what.