Page 60 of Before I Lost You

Kenneth lands on the bed with one more push, and he’s frantically pushing his pants and boxers down until he’s half-naked. I shove my own off, then tear my shirt off as he doesthe same. In just a few seconds, we’re both naked and staring at each other. I look down at my left hand, watching the metal band glint, then smile softly. My knees hit the mattress as I climb onto it and crawl between his legs, and Kenneth reaches under his pillow and pulls out a bottle of lube.

We don’t speak as I spread his legs wide and take the lube from him, then open it and coat two fingers in the thick, cold liquid. I kiss the inside of his thigh, then look up at him, our eyes meeting in the soft glow of the bedside lamp. His hair is golden and wild; his eyes are as blue and tumultuous as the ocean during a storm, and his chest is heaving rapidly as he tries to catch his breath. He’s mesmerizing, an angel that’s come to life just for me.

With my eyes on him, I lean in and lick up the length of his shaft, making him shudder. My fingers circle his rim, and I push one in gently at the same time as I suck on the head of his cock. He groans low in his throat, barely audible, but I’m so in tune with him that I’m aware of every little sound and movement he makes. I miss nothing.

I withdraw my finger just to push in two, then take his cock all the way to the back of my throat. When I crook my digits inside him, his back arches off the bed, and he releases a guttural moan that takes up so much space inside me it feels like it’s filling every nook and cranny. Kenneth’s hips move as he fucks himself on my fingers, and I suck him harder and faster, bobbing my head and hollowing my cheeks, desperately needing to hear him beg.

He doesn’t.

Instead, he yanks me up by my hair, dragging me until our lips meet once more in a rough kiss. My fingers slip from his body, and he grabs the lube, opening it up. The sound of the cap is so loud I flinch, and a moment later, Ken’s hand wraps around my cock and coats my length with lube. I bite his bottom lip when he jacks me slowly and with a tight grip, and I tug on the fleshbetween my teeth until he hisses. When I lick it again, there’s blood on my tongue. Maybe this is what we’ve needed all along—to take our anger out on each other. It sure would have fixed a lot before it got out of hand. Well, now I’m taking care of it.

“Put my cock in your tight little asshole, Ken,” I growl against his ear, and he whimpers, directing my cock to his hole. “Give me what belongs to me.”

I nudge him gently, the crown slipping in, and then I give a small push of my hips to enter him fully. I start sliding in slowly, but there’s desperation in Kenneth’s movements as he grabs my ass with both hands and pushes me all the way inside. He wraps his legs around my waist and pushes against me with his heels, and I groan when I bottom out.

“Fuck,” Ken groans, low and throaty and making my body shudder. I pull almost all the way out and thrust forward once more, my hips meeting his ass, and he grabs my hair with his fingers and tightens his fist. “Look into my eyes and tell me you love me.”

I look into his eyes like he just demanded, trying to show him all my love with just my gaze. But still I say, “I love you more than I ever thought I could, Ken. It’s you and me, remember? Your handprint’s on my soul, baby. You’d have to be ripped straight out of my heart for me to let you go.”

“You’re everything to me, Connie,” Kenneth whispers. “I’m so scared I’ll lose you.”

“Never,” I say with conviction. “You’llneverlose me.”

Not even if you try to push me away.

I support myself with one arm on the mattress and grip Ken’s side as I fuck him harder, the headboard slamming against the wall. He’s panting loudly, but not moaning the way I want him to, so I shift my body and grab his legs, throwing them over my shoulders and practically folding him in half. His eyes widen as Inail his prostate head on, and he moans helplessly and loudly as I do it over and over.

My body tightens in anticipation of my climax the harder I fuck him. The pleasure pooling in my lower belly is hot and overflowing, and when my balls draw up, I fuck Kenneth so hard he’s jolting with every thrust. His lips are parted as he moans and groans, and then suddenly his hands grip my arms, and he digs his nails into me hard as he convulses on the bed under me.

“Oh, fuck, what the fuck is happening?” Kenneth yells, eyes frantic as he gasps. “Oh, fuck!”

Warmth hits my abs as he comes hands-free, and Ken throws his head back as I fuck him through his orgasm. I latch my lips onto his neck and suck hard, my lips getting caught on the golden chain he’s wearing, losing rhythm as I come, too. The pathetic whimper I let out is just proof that this man undoes me in a way no one ever has before.

I breathe him in as we come down from the high, and I don’t move a muscle. I make no move to pull out. Mostly because I don’t want this moment to end. And also because my legs probably can’t function properly yet. Kenneth sighs sleepily, and I look at him. I don’t want to leave him, but I have to. I have to go on that stupid work trip to New York City, which has been planned for months, so I can’t back out of it. I wish I’d just asked them to send someone else, but I also want the stupid promotion.

Pulling out of him, I move to get up from the bed, but Kenneth grabs my arm tightly and brings me back down to him. “Not yet, baby,” he says. “I need to feel you for a little longer.”

I nod, lowering myself until I’m practically crushing him, but he doesn’t seem to mind. “Did you really ask me to marry you?” I whisper. “Was that real or just a dream?”

“It’s real, fiancé.” Kenneth kisses my cheek, then the corner of my mouth, then my lips. “We’re as real as it gets.”

“Yeah, we are,” I reply with a smile. “I love you.”

“And I’ll always love you.”

My eyes find the metal band on my finger once more, and it makes the smile on my face widen. I can’t believe we’re going to get married. Maybe this is fast—reallyfast. But I know this is what I want, thathe’swhat I want. What I need. What I deserve.

I’m never letting him go.

Chapter 23

WRITTEN IN LIGHTNING

Ipull my pants up and slip on my shoes as I watch Kenneth pace the bedroom. He looks sad, and it makes me feel guilty that I’m leaving him when he’s clearly falling apart. We just showered, and his towel is still wrapped around his waist as he comes to stand in front of me. I straighten my body and reach out, brushing my knuckles over his cheekbone and smiling softly at him. He doesn’t smile back. Instead, his bottom lip trembles.

“I’m sorry I have to go, baby,” I whisper, leaning in to kiss his forehead. “I know you don’t really want to talk about it, but I think you need to go see your mom tonight. Spend some time with her.”

Kenneth nods. “I’m sorry I pushed you away.” I shake my head at him, pressing our foreheads together and looking into his eyes. I’m about to tell him not to apologize anymore, but he squeezes my arm and continues talking. “I should’ve told you how I feel. And the truth is, I feel helpless. I’m not sure how I’ll ever recover from this, Conrad. It feels like someone is ripping out my heart slowly.”