Page 62 of Before I Lost You

“Ken…” I whisper, hearing more than feeling my heart slow down. My body is cold, so, so cold. It’s hard to stay awake, and I keep startling myself as I come back to. “Kenny…”

Thump.

Thump.

Thu—

A bright light.

A loud boom.

Then darkness.

PART 2: FRAYED APART

Chapter 24

A LIFE YOU NEVER LIVED

There’s a loud beeping sound that wakes me, and my lids flutter as I try to open my eyes. It’s futile, though. Even attempting it hurts my head so badly that I instantly regret it. I’m not entirely sure why that is, considering I got a small glimpse of darkness when I tried, but my eyeballs physically hurt in their sockets. My head is pounding as if someone took a bat to it, and when I try to move my body, pain shoots to the left side of my body. My ribs, I realize. They feel like they’re possibly broken.

Great.

I inhale deeply to calm my breathing as I hear my heart speeding up on the monitor, which means I’m in a hospital. There’s someone crying at my bedside, and a hand squeezes mine. I’m confused for a long moment, trying to figure out why I’m here and why someone’s crying. And then it hits me—I was in a car accident. I remember it now—my heart slowing down, and then a loud sound. Then nothing. Darkness. I thought I was dying, but surely I’m wrong, right? I couldn’t have died if I’mhere now. Which means the dream I had all those months ago was wrong. I need to call Kenneth—

My eyes fly open, and I sit up on the bed abruptly, which causes me to let out a high-pitched whine at the feeling of sharp pain in my side. My head swims and pounds even harder, making me clutch it with my hands on either side. But when I look to my side, it’s not Kenny there. No, it’s my mom and stepdad. I frown with confusion, then remember that they’re listed as my emergency contacts. I mean, of course they are; they’re my parents, and I’m not married.

That thought causes me to look at my left hand, which is now bare. No metal band on my finger. Where the fuck did they put it? They must have taken it off when they brought me in or something. My chest begins to tighten at the thought of losing it, and I hyperventilate. That makes my mom more frantic, and she cries harder as she rubs a soothing hand up and down my back. My ribs are on fire from leaning forward already, but breathing fast is making the pain unbearable. I feel my eyes well with tears from the pain—but I’m not sure if it’s from the one in my heart or the one on my side.

Where the hell is he? Why isn’t he here? Does he even know where I am? Are they not letting him in because he’s not family? Or is he—

And then it hits me.

His mom passed away right before my accident, which means if it was only a few hours ago, he’s probably in a really bad place emotionally. This could send him over the fucking edge. But surely he must have checked to see what hospital I’d be in, right? He got the voice note and knew something had happened to me.

“Where’s Kenny?” I ask, my mind still reeling, my breath still coming fast. I’m gasping for air, clutching my chest with both hands. “Is he okay?”

My mom frowns. “Who’s Kenny?”

“My boyfriend,” I reply, confused because she should know exactly who he is. I haven’t stopped talking about him since I met him. “Well, fiancé, now.”

“You’re engaged?” my mom screeches. “Since when?”

“Since before the accident, mom! Focus, please.” My nostrils flare as I hiccup. “Has he called? Did he try to see me, but wasn’t let in?”

“Conrad—” my stepdad cuts in, then looks apologetic. “We don’t know Kenny.”

“Yes, you do!” I scream, losing my patience, and my parents startle. “How do you not remember?” I frown, shaking my head. “I want to see him. I need my phone. I’ll call him real quick—” I’m looking for my phone frantically, but then I see my mom’s wide eyes and halt my movements.

“We don’t know him, baby…” my mom says again very gently, and I want to fucking strangle her. Of course, they know him. How the fuck wouldn’t they know him? “Your phone was lost in the wreck, though. They left it behind.”

“How is that possible?” I yell, exasperated. “It was on the fucking roof a few feet from me!” My breathing speeds up again, and this time, I feel my pulse pounding in my neck. I clutch it with both hands, feeling dizzy. “I couldn’t reach it, and he was calling me—”

My mom starts sobbing uncontrollably, which just makes my heart speed up even more, and a nurse suddenly comes into the room. She looks between all of us, giving my parents a death glare, and comes to my side.

“Conrad, honey, you need to calm down,” Agnes, according to her name badge, says soothingly. “You have a nasty head injury, and your blood pressure rising could increase the pressure in your brain.”

My entire body quakes. “Get them out,” I whisper, then louder, “Get them the fuck out of here!”