Page 63 of Before I Lost You

“Conrad—” my stepfather growls as my mom’s high-pitched wail echoes in the room. But I can’t care right now. I’m on the verge of losing my shit, and I don’t want any more witnesses. I need to calm down. “What the fuck is wrong with you—”

“Sir,” the nurse’s voice is suddenly cold and firm. “Please step out of the room. Both of you.”

“No—” My mom shakes her head, her eyes wide and frantic. I feel bad for putting her through this, but I can’t deal with them right now. “We’re not leaving. He’s my son! Look at him—he needs us!”

“Ma’am, if you don’t step out, I’ll have to call security.”

I flinch when she says that, but don’t look at my parents. Instead, I keep my eyes on my hands, which are all cut up and bruised. My right hand is wrapped in a bloody bandage, and I remember I had a shard of glass in it. Awesome.

“Conrad, please,” my mom whispers. “We love you. We just want to be here for you—”

I nod, then meet her eyes. “I love you too, Mom. But I need to be alone right now. Thank you for coming. I’ll call you when I’m out.”

“W-what?” she stammers. “We can’t even come visit?”

“I need to get in contact with Kenneth.” I sigh. “And you clearly can’t help me.”

“Kenneth isn’t real.” My mom argues, and when I look at the nurse, she’s frowning. “You’ve never told me about him. We’ve never heard of this man before, Conrad!”

“You’re a liar!” I yell, and everyone except the nurse takes a step back. “You’re fucking lying.”

The nurse clears her throat. “Please leave. He needs to rest.”

My mom swallows hard and turns on her heel, my stepdad following after her. I watch as they slip out of the room and close the door with a soft click, clearly making sure my head doesn’t hurt even more. I almost feel bad for kicking them out, but Ican’t see them witness this right now. I’m not sure what the fuck is going on, but none of this feels real. It’s like I’m living in an alternate universe. This can’t be my life. I have to be dreaming again.

“Can you tell me your name?” the nurse asks softly.

“Conrad Moore.”

“Do you know where you are, Conrad?” she follows up, her eyes on my face.

“Boston…” I frown. “Not sure what hospital.”

“Okay…” She nods. “What’s today’s date?”

“December fifth.”

The nurse’s eyes widen, but she quickly walks away to the computer in the corner of the room. “What year?”

“Two thousand twenty-five.”

Agnes nods. “Alright, Conrad. Are you in any pain?”

“Yes,” I breathe. “But I don’t want meds right now. I want to see my doctor.”

“Yes, I imagine the doctor will want to speak with you as well,” she replies. “I’ll go get him.”

“W-wait—” I breathe, and she stops in her tracks and turns towards me once more. “Do I have any belongings here? I know I don’t have my phone… but do I have anything else?”

She nods, going to the bedside table and opening a drawer. She pulls out a keychain, which stops my heart in my chest. Relief fills me to bursting, and I let out a loud sob. There, in her hand, is Kenny’s keychain.Ourkeychain. I open my hand, and she gives it to me, and my eyes widen as I see the familiar constellation from our night at the beach. I sigh with relief, then turn it over to read the engraving on the back.The night you said I love you.

“Thank you so much,” I whisper, and she nods with a frown. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, sir,” she replies softly, then exits the room.

I contemplate how to get in contact with Kenneth. I don’t have my phone, and I don’t have his number memorized. His social media is public, but I have no way to access it right now, and even if I could have this very nice nurse message him for me, he has over a million followers, and there’s no way in hell he will see the message in this lifetime. He doesn’t even check his requests. I also can’t remember my social media username or password. It’s been in my phone for so long, I don’t bother paying attention to those details. Now, I regret not knowing. Fuck, this is such a mess.

Kenneth is probably in a really bad place right now after his mom’s death, and now with this happening to me. He probably can’t check on me at the moment because of his mom anyway. He’s probably seeing her for the last time and arranging for the funeral home to pick her up. I can’t even blame him for not making me his priority right now. And that’s why I take a deep breath and relax back in my bed, my ribs screaming at me and burning so badly my breath catches in my throat. But I have to be understanding. I’ll get in contact with him somehow. I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before he shows up. He’s going to come for me. I know he is.