Page 81 of Before I Lost You

Kenneth smiles, then pulls me after him, and everyone parts to let him through. It’s impressive how everyone looks at him, as if he’s a god. And I suppose he is. I could make a religion around worshiping him forever. That’s for damn sure.

My eyes take in how everyone is watching him, then me. They gaze at him with reverence, like he’s something beautifulthat they covet. They look at me with unabashed jealousy. No one bothers to hide it, and I’m not sure how it makes me feel, knowing he could have anyone he wanted. Part of me wants to feel insecure, but another part of me, the part I want to listen to, tells me he could have anyone, but he wantsme. Somehow. Impossibly. Yet true all the same. I know what it feels like to be wanted by him, and while this barely scratches the surface, it’s a start. Selfishly, I want more.

He finally opens the door that leads us outside, stopping abruptly. I run into his back, pushing him forward into what I realize is rain. It’s fucking pouring down over us, soaking us to the bone in seconds, and he laughs loudly, then turns to face me. For a split second, I think he’s going to kiss me like we’re in a rom-com, but he doesn’t. Instead, he grabs my hand and squeezes.

“I think dinner is no longer an option,” he tells me.

“Let’s go to my place.” I squeeze his hand back. “It’s just around the corner.” Two blocks away, to be exact.

I wait for Kenneth to nod, and then I’m pulling him in the direction of my penthouse. We run there, not stopping even when the doorman looks at us like we’re insane. Once we get in the elevator, we’re both panting from running, and he looks the happiest I’ve seen him since what I call our past life together. This is the moment I’ve been waiting for. To see him as he was, as he truly is. He’s letting his walls down and letting me have a long look at his heart and soul. It’s all perfect. He is.

The elevator dings, and the door opens into my living room, and we make it a few feet into the penthouse when he looks down at the puddle around him. His eyes widen at the amount of water dripping off him, but I smile, reassuring him it’s not a big deal. Without a word, I gesture with my head for him to follow me, and we end up in my laundry room. I take off my suit jacket and throw it in the corner, then unbutton my shirt and shove mypants off until I’m standing in just my very wet, very tight boxer briefs. His eyes take every inch of me in, from my face to my abs to my half-hard cock. The anticipation is killing me. I know I said I want to take things slow, but I feel like we already have, and I’m human. The temptation might just fucking kill me.

I tilt my head and motion for him to do the same, and he follows suit slowly. He stares at my face as he strips for me, and when he hooks his thumbs into his soaked baby-blue boxer briefs that leave nothing to the imagination, I gasp. I can’t tear my gaze away as he pushes them down his legs, then steps out of them. My eyes trail back up his legs, then catch on his rapidly growing cock. He wraps a hand around it, stroking firmly once, and my knees almost give out on me. I’m not sure I’m strong enough to withstand this. I need to touch him. I need himsobadly.

“Ken,” I breathe, and he steps closer to me. I can’t help but think about the fact that he looks exactly the same as all my memories of him. It makes me wonder what else is the same. Does he sound the same? Taste the same? Look the same when he comes? “W-what are you—”

“What?” Kenneth asks, his voice low and husky.

He pushes me against the nearest wall, getting impossibly close until our bodies are flush. His hard cock pokes my abdomen, his tip slick with precum. My breath is shaky as I inhale, and I bite my bottom lip as I stare at his face. He stares right back, and all I see iswant. He wants me, too.Me.

“Nothing,” I reply breathlessly.

“Not nothing,” he murmurs. “You’re looking at me like…”

“Like what?” I ask nervously. My voice shakes with the question, and he tilts his head.

“Like you’re in love with me.”

My hands begin trembling at my sides, and I whisper, “It’s the only way I know how.”

Kenneth gets impossibly closer, forearms resting on the wall on either side of my head, caging me in. It feels like I’ve been struck by a live wire, my entire body quivering from the shock. His lips brush against mine lightly, so softly, it feels like I imagined it. The sound that rips out of my throat is that of a wounded animal, and a look crosses his face that I can’t describe, except he starts breathing as hard as I am, so he must be affected too. He stares into my eyes for a long time, so long that I grow brave and grip his hips firmly. His eyes widen at the contact, and he leans in again, brushing his lips over mine once more. The contact is making me tingle all over, and it takes everything in me not to close my eyes.

“Are you going to kiss me, Kenny?” I ask, my voice shaking as I whisper the words. Our lips brush with every word, and my cock is so hard against his that it makes me feel dizzy.

“Do you want me to?” he whispers back, and I nod.

“Kiss me.”

Kenneth shifts his body, lowering his arm until he’s cupping my jaw and angling my head. Our lips are barely a centimeter away from each other’s, and we’re sharing breath.

“You’re shaking,” Kenny murmurs.

“You do this to me,” I reply, and his hand tightens on my jaw.

“Connie…”

“Please kiss me,” I beg him, hands drifting up, one to his lower back as I push him against me, my other one to the back of his head. My fingers tighten in the strands of his hair, and he whimpers. “Put me out of my misery.” I’ve said those words before, once upon a time, and inhale sharply when I realize what I’ve done.

Kenneth’s eyes search mine for another split second, and then he presses his lips to mine. The kiss is soft, so fucking soft. Barely a touch of lips, and then he pulls away. His chest is heaving, and my hand tightens in his hair until I’m sure it’shurting him, but I can’t stop. I want him back.Please come back to me.

His lips part, and his exhale is shaky. And then he grabs the back of my neck and pulls me away from the wall slightly, crashing his lips to mine with so much force it feels like he’s rearranging my entire universe. And he is. He’s changing me again. I will never be the same after this.

It’s the perfect second-first kiss.

Our lips meet and part, meet and part, until I bite his bottom lip and then suck on it. He moans, pushing me against the wall once more and angling his head to deepen the kiss. His tongue brushes against the seam of my lips, and I open to him immediately, my hands going to his ass at the first hint of him rolling his hips. His cock rubs against mine in the most delicious friction I’ve ever felt, and our tongues tangle and stroke slowly as I squeeze his ass cheeks.

“Oh, god,” I moan against his lips, and he shoves his tongue into my mouth again.