Page 80 of Before I Lost You

“I like that,” he replies. “A lot.”

My face flushes hotter. “Will you read me the poem?”

His lips purse. “It’s stupid.”

“Nothing you do is stupid,” I reply, then wonder if I’m being too intense. “But if you don’t want to show me, that’s okay.”

Kenneth nods, then withdraws his hand from on top of mine and turns towards his food. We eat in silence for a while, and though it’s peaceful, I feel tense too. It’s hard not to wonder what he’s thinking, even more difficult not to freak the hell out over it. After what feels like forever, Kenneth has cleared his plate. He shoves it away from himself and turns to look at my half-full plate. He frowns.

“Do you not like it?” he asks, and I immediately shake my head.

“It’s good.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

“I, um…” I exhale shakily. “I’m just scared I’m doing something wrong. I guess I’m nervous.”

Kenneth smiles at me, a real smile that reaches his eyes. He takes my hand in his and squeezes hard. “Hurry up and eat so I can read you the poem.”

Hope blooms in my chest as I nod, then shovel food faster than I ever have before. I finish my meal within two minutes, making him throw his head back and laugh. I should feel more self-conscious than I do, but I can’t bring myself to feel bad when he clears the table with a grin on his face, then disappears into his bedroom before he comes back with a leather notebook. He sits next to me, turning to face me, and takes a deep breath. And then he reads his poem to me. My breath catches in my throat at what’s so very obviously about me. He may not remember me, but his heart does.

I can live with that.

Chapter 31

LIKE THE FIRST TIME

It’s been weeks since Kenneth and I got takeout at his apartment, and ever since then, we’ve been hanging out at my penthouse almost every night. We’ve gone on a few more dates, mostly casual. Reservations I made for dinner at a really fancy restaurant, the aquarium, an art museum, and the Harborwalk. We walked for a long time, talking about everything and anything that came to mind. I learned even more about him—something I didn’t think was still possible. Boy, was I ever wrong about that. He might not be an open book with everyone else, but he lets me see him.Reallysee him. The parts he doesn’t show anyone else. Just me.

The Boston Harborwalk was definitely my favorite date, even if it was hot outside. We walked around for what felt like miles, watching the boats, taking in the sunset he loves so much. We even went to the snow cone stand and ordered the same thing—coconut with cream. It made me feel warm and fuzzy inside when he looked at me and grinned, giving me a glimpse of the man from before. The one I so desperately want more of. But it takes time for him to trust people, and I can and will be patient.At the end, we got our cartoon portrait painted by a guy who was at one of the parks. There was also a face painting booth, and of course, Kenny got a pink butterfly. It reminded me of when he said I make him feel like a princess. It made me smile so big I’m sure I looked like a lunatic. But it made him happy. He liked seeing me smile. I could tell.

Now I’m here, with him, on yet another date. I reach up to adjust my tie, feeling slightly suffocated as I stand beside Kenneth while he talks to a couple who is interested in his portrait. I’m not sure why I’m so nervous, except maybe the fact that he invited me to his gallery tonight—as his date. This is a huge deal for so many reasons. He wouldn’t invite me to something like this if he didn’t see this going nowhere. And most importantly, he’s the one who asked me on a date this time around. He beat me to it, and that surprised me so much that I was speechless for an entire minute. He even thought I was rejecting him, and when he started to backtrack, I finally spoke up with a lot of enthusiasm. I may have come off a little strong, but who am I kidding? I always do.

My hand presses against his lower back a little more firmly, and he shifts his body slightly, turning toward me, even if he doesn’t stop his conversation. It’s like he wants to be closer to me in any way he can. I silently watch him speak to the couple, in awe of the passion with which he speaks. It makes me smile, and when the lady watches me in a way that tells me she knows I’m head over heels for him, I feel myself blushing. My face heats to feverish proportions, and when Kenneth glances at me, he grins, eyes sparkling. In a surprising move, he winds an arm around my waist and squeezes my side gently, then pulls me into him until we’re leaning against each other. The couple smiles at me, and I try to get my heart to calm the fuck down so I don’t pass out.

Finally, the couple walks away. There’s a moment of silence between us, and then Kenneth turns toward me, draping his arms over my neck and holding me close, our foreheads pressing together. My breath catches at his proximity, the way it always does, and I know he can tell because he smirks. My face heats again, and it feels like I’m sweating in this stupid suit. I need out of it.

Kenneth smiles, then looks into my eyes. I meet his gaze. “Are you okay?” he asks, and I nod slowly.

“Yeah.”

He presses a kiss to the corner of my mouth ever so gently, and I shiver. We still haven’t even kissed—weeks of dating and I’ve been too much of a coward to make a move on him. I just don’t want him to get the wrong idea. This isn’t a hookup to me, and I need him to know that. I think he does now. He doesn’t seem in a hurry either, which is reassuring.

“Ready to get out of here?” Ken pulls away to look into my eyes again, and I frown.

“Are you sure? We’ve only been here two hours.”

“I’m sure.” He smiles. “I have something else I want to do.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Like what?”

Kenneth smirks, then says, “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Dinner first?” I ask, and he grins. “We could go to your favorite place.”

“That’s kind of far,” he replies. “What about somewhere closer?”

“Sure.” I nod, and he steps back, grabbing my hand. “Okay.”