Page 96 of Wingmen

“I have people,” said Elliot.

“And you talk to them?”

He sighed. “I’m starting to.”

A truck went by and Dustin watched it pass. “That’s gonna be what gets you through it,” he said. “It isn’t going to be hockey.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

Elliot

Elliot spent the week at Dustin’s, eavesdropping on phone calls with doctors and getting to know Jordan. He was pretty sure Jordan suspected something was going on between him and Dustin. Nothingwasgoing on: Elliot stayed in the spare room all week. Partly out of respect for Jordan. Partly because he didn’t know where he and Dustin stood now.

He thought about what Dustin had said, and they talked about Sal. He cried and Dustin held him and it wasn’t embarrassing. He wasn’t sure what to do with all the new feelings, but maybe that was the point? That there wasn’t any rulebook for that. He just had to…feel them. Which sucked.

He borrowed Dustin’s laptop and did some research and took down some numbers for professionals to talk to. He didn’t call any of them. But he figured he would eventually.

Dustin was physically much better by the end of the week. But Elliot knew it wasn’t his physical health anyone was worried about.

He overheard Jordan say the word ‘retire’ in a conversation, which shook him to the core.

He was making dinner and they were talking in the bedroom. Elliot put on his headphones and pretended he hadn’t heard it.

But the fact that Dustin had even engaged with that conversation left him reeling.

Who was the Great Bendito if he wasn’t playing hockey? And who was Elliot Rodriguez if he wasn’t whooping the Great Bendito’s ass?

On his sixth night there, he went into Dustin’s room and got into bed behind him and put his arms around him without a word. They didn’t do anything. They just fell asleep like that. When they woke up in the morning, they showered separately and made coffee and sat on the couch, clean and damp-haired, with Elliot bare-chested in a pair of Dustin’s sweats and his head in Dustin’s lap. Dustin sipped his coffee, coiling one finger in Elliot’s hair.

“This is weird,” said Dustin. “Right?”

“What?”

“…Us?” He looked down at Elliot.

“Is there an us?”

“I guess that’s up to you at this point. Doesn’t seem like I should have the right to make any more grownup decisions for myself, after Vancouver.”

He was obviously trying to make a joke, but Elliot didn’t think it was funny at all. He shook his head. “That’s a cop out. Don’t be a pussy. You have to make decisions: youarea grownup.” Dustin stared down at him in surprise, and Elliot just stared back. “You’rethegrownup,” he said. It came out hurt; he didn’t care. He hoped Dustin knew how much it hurt to be let down by a guy you thought was older and wiser and smarter than you. “I’m just a kid, remember?”

Dustin absorbed this. Then slowly, he said, “I don’t think you’re a kid. I think you’re a much better man than me, to be honest.” He sighed. “But I guess I have plenty of time to improve.”

“Yeah.Plenty.Because you’re a grownup but you’re notold. Right? Because all the stuff about you being an old man – that’s a cop out, too. You’re twenty-nine. You don’t have to go into roofing and disappear and act like this is the end of your life. You’re notdone.”

That all came out much faster and angrier than he’d meant it to, and he shut his mouth and looked at the ceiling again. Dustin continued to stare at him a moment, looking astonished, then blinked and went back to stroking his hair. “How did I find you?” he said.

That landed hard in the middle of Elliot’s chest, and he looked away and pretended it didn’t. “The league sat us next to each other at a charity event.”

“Mm…” Dustin tilted his head. He sipped his coffee, then leaned over Elliot to put the mug on the table. “Maybe. Whatever it was, it’s weird as hell. I’m not evengay.”

Elliot scoffed. “My cock would beg to differ.”

“You know what I mean.” Dustin watched his thumb as it smoothed Elliot’s eyebrow. “I never thought about another guy in my life.”

“Really?”

Dustin shook his head, and Elliot linked his fingers on his chest and frowned at the ceiling. He never knew that.