Page 102 of Endless Depths

Alejo’s face tightens into a pained expression. “I wish we could have found him.”

Wes slings an arm around Alejo and hugs him from the side. “You and Lawrence did everything you could. I watched from up here, remember?”

Alejo nods, a tear sliding down the side of his nose.

“Saving one person from the Bering Sea in a typhoon is unheard of.” I meet Alejo’s gaze, then Lawrence’s. “I don’t blame any of you for not finding Seb. What happened was out of our hands.”

“He’s right,” Morgan says. “Seb knew the risks. He jumped in to save Cole.” He pauses. “And he let go of the sling to save me.”

I layer my hand over Morgan’s, still resting on my shoulder. I didn’t expect his confession. I don’t know if he did either.

“Wait, what?” Lawrence drops his feet from the dashboard with a thud and leans forward in his chair.

“He let go?” Alejo asks.

Morgan nods. “I couldn’t move my arms and legs well enough to swim. I was probably minutes away from succumbing to hypothermia, and had no idea. Seb saved me.”

“Sounds like Seb,” Wes says.

“He was a goddamned hero,” Lawrence says.

“He really was.” I glance at the photo of Seb and Finn again as tears fill my vision. “He always took care of us.”

Morgan squeezes my shoulder. “Without the sling, I would have drowned, so whoever thought to toss another sling in, thank you.”

“That was all Alejo,” Lawrence says.

“Thanks, man,” Morgan says. “Quick thinking.”

Alejo flushes, tips of his mustache twitching with a tight smile.

“Seb chose to save me,” Morgan repeats. “What happened to him is not on you, Alejo. Not on any of you.”

Alejo’s smile warps into a grimace, and he ducks his head in a polite nod before hiding his mouth behind his mug.

“That wasn’t on you either, Morgan,” Wes says.

“I cosign that.” Lawrence salutes Morgan. “You were a goddamned hero too.”

Alejo agrees with the others, and while it’s really sweet to see the crew rally around Morgan, Javi’s silence on the topic concerns me. He seems checked out of the entire conversation, attention still fixed on the ocean like he’s the one manning the wheel.

“Javi.” I wait for him to drag his gaze from the window. “Morgan saved my life first, but I never knew how much you saved me too. Thank you. Truly.” I take a deep breath. “Thank you for saving Morgan too, and for helping him prepare to lose me, for making sure I held his hand while I was dying.”

My words come out in a rush that leaves me breathless. Javi probably thinks I’m parroting a speech I rehearsed, but I meant every word. It’s just that if I reflect too long on how much pain Morgan went through that night, I want to claw my skin off.

“You don’t have to thank me.” He shrugs, but the chip on his shoulder remains. “You would have done the same for me.”

“Still. It must have been really hard to take care of me when you thought I would die. I’m sorry.”

Javi lifts his chin like he’s bracing for a punch. “It’s okay. I slipped into paramedic autopilot, and pretended you were a stranger.”

I hate when he closes himself off like this. He started when his dad died, and got worse after Lawrence was arrested. Behind his cold exterior, I know he’s hurting.

“I’ve had a lot of flashbacks,” Morgan says. “That night when I thought I saw someone jump, I kept checking the gear room for Cole’s body because the way he sat me down on the trunk reminded me of when Javi did last year.”

Javi stills.

“I was about to call you to help me get a grip on reality,” Morgan tells him. “I was afraid Cole died and I couldn’t take it and all of this was some psychotic break fever dream.”