Page 32 of Freeze Frame

Josh,

My life has been the same for a long time. And then I got a dog. And then I met a guy in the park. And the guy I met was interesting. Funny. Sweet. Attractive. And though he was a bit younger than me (okay a lot younger), we hit it off.

Your job doesn’t change any of those things. I thought about what you do, and confession time — I watched some of your work — sorry if I should have asked first, but I think… you’re still you. You’re still the guy from the park with the cute dog and I’d still like to get to know you better.

A source close to me says that a playlist is as good as a mix tape, but I have my doubts. I also doubt you own a cassette player, so enclosed is a playlist. I hope you’ll do the honor of listening to it with me so I can explain why I picked the songs I did.

Consider it date number three.

David

I folded the letter and put it back in the envelope, then read through the playlist a couple times. Some of the songs I was familiar with, others I’d never heard of before.

I didn’t question him about the letter or the songs he chose or who his source was. Instead I looked at him and said, “You called me Josh.”

“Of course I did. That’s your name.”

“Everyone calls me River.”

“Everyone you ask to call you River calls you River. You asked me to call you Josh. That’s who you are to me. You’re Josh from the dog park.”

Josh from the dog park. Not River who fucked his son. I could live with that.

“Nitro has really missed his friend.” The playlist trembled in my fingers.

Slowly, David took a step toward me. He telegraphed his every move, giving me ample time to tell him to stop or to back away. I did neither.

“I’ve really missed my friend too,” David said, sliding his hand up the side of my neck. His thumb grazed my jawline, scraping against an entire week’s worth of stubble. I still couldn’t grow decent facial hair.

“These songs better not suck.” My legs wobbled but held me upright as David moved closer, slipping an arm around my waist. When I realized that he was going to kiss me, I pulled back a little. “Oh, God. Wait. Don’t. I’ve been wallowing, and it’s not pretty. I’m not exactly kissable at the moment.”

“Okay. I won’t kiss you. Yet. What would make you more comfortable?”

God. This man was going to be the death of me with his consideration. Was it just because he was older and had learned through years of experience how to be a gentleman? Or was he just born to be this perfectly considerate man I wanted to spend entire days destroying?

“A shower. An apartment that doesn’t look like a post-apocalyptic trash heap.” An orgasm or four. Sucking David’s cock until he forgot he’d ever seen my place in the disgraceful state it was in.

“I didn’t come to see your apartment. I came to see you. And if you’d like to shower, you can shower. I can wait out here.”

I narrowed my gaze at him. “If I leave you out here while I shower, are you going to tidy up?”

A flash of color high on David’s cheekbones gave him away.

“Am I that transparent?”

“No, you’re just that nice. But please don’t clean my mess. I don’t want to think that you think that I can’t look after myself. I promise I can. I’ve just been upside down these past few days.”

“I did a thousand-piece puzzle and thought about what I was going to say to you when I saw you next. I know what it’s like to feel distracted and like maybe things are a bit messy. And maybe they are a mess. But mess isn’t always bad.”

“There are take-out containers from three days ago sitting on the counter because the trash can is full.”

David fucking shrugged. He looked at me, at my mess, and then back at me and had theaudacityto shrug at me.

“That just means you fed yourself.”

“Your logic is?—”

David put a hand over my mouth. “My logic is sound. I like you, Josh. I’m here because I want to be, and I’m staying unless you tell me to leave.”