Page 33 of Freeze Frame

I blinked at him and then nodded, earning me a smile.

“Take your shower.” He pulled his hand away and replaced it with his lips, dusting a gentle kiss against my mouth. “I’m going to tidy up, not because I think you can’t take care of yourself but because I want to help you take care of yourself. And then, when you’re all squeaky clean, we’re going to talk, okay?”

Unable to speak since I’d probably start to blubber like a baby, I nodded and then David kissed me, on the cheek this time. He turned me toward the bathroom and gave me a gentle pat on the ass.

“Get going,” he said. “And take your time.”

I detoured to my room and quickly tidied things up in there, tossing my covers over my bed so it looked halfway decent. Ishoved my dirty clothes into the hamper and grabbed something clean to change into. I gave the bathroom a quick tidy-up while kicking myself for acting like a moody teenager for the past few days, sulking and stewing in my own bad mood, taking it out on my apartment.

Then I had the quickest shower known to man. The words from David’s letter circled around and around in my head and when I was clean and dried, I grabbed the letter out of the pocket of my discarded pants and read it again.

My fingers twitched when I read the line again. And again. The reality of it sinking in. I stuffed the letter away and then returned to David.

“How much of my stuff did you watch?” I asked, intrigued by the idea of him sitting around watching me perform. What did he see? Did he like it?

David faced me, his cheeks aflame, and he shifted around. “Uh, a lot. I didn’t watch any of your pre-transition stuff. I wasn’t sure if you were comfortable with that. But I watched you with that Joey guy. Jesus Christ, he was like two of you and you fucked him ‘til he cried. It was…”

“Intimidating?”

“A bit, yeah.” David laughed, but he moved closer to me again. Or maybe I moved closer to him. Maybe we were magnets, unable to resist the pull between us. “It was also incredible. I’ve never seen anything like it. I—you… you’re different on screen, you know. When you’re with those men, you’re not you.” He closed the distance between us. Cradling my face in his hands, he spoke in a hushed voice, but I could hear the way he was begging me to hear how truthful he was being. “You’re still you, but you’re different. You’re River when you’re with them. And when you were with me, you were Josh. And that might not make sense to you, but it does to me. And I—I really want to kiss you now, Josh. It’s all I’ve been able to think about for days.”

“David, are you sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure about anything.”

David didn’t kiss me because I threw my arms around him, and I kissed him first.

SEVENTEEN

DAVID

Josh practically flunghimself at me. His hair was still damp from the shower, and he smelled of coconut. It made me think of summer beaches and sunscreen and skin. So much skin.

I kissed him like I was drowning and he was oxygen. Licking my way into his mouth, he let me lead the kiss for a few precious moments before taking over. When he moaned into my mouth, my libido roared up like he threw rocket fuel onto a fire. I wanted to pin him down and kiss him until he came, and then I wanted to finger him open and suck him until he cried.

Instead, I let out a groan. Putting my hands on his hips, I forced him back a little. We needed to come up for air, and we needed to talk. With words. There would be time enough for everything else later.

“We need to get things sorted out between us so this whole days of silence thing doesn’t happen again.”

Josh nodded. “I know.”

“I didn’t like being without you, you know. That probably sounds like too much too fast, but that’s the truth of it. I like talking to you. Texting with you. I’d have liked to spend these past few days getting to know you better.”

“Jax was the last person I expected to walk in that door.” Josh let out a sigh like it came from the very depths of him.

I pulled him against me and steered us to the couch, carefully dodging Nitro who was now trying to weave between our legs.

While Josh had been in the shower, I’d done a speed clean of his living spaces. A new trash bag solved the take-out container issue. I’d started the dishwasher and then barely had time to scoop all the laundry in the living room up and deposit it in the recliner instead of having it on the couch.

“I can’t believe you cleaned.” Josh groaned as he sat down. “I can’t believe I let you. Thank you.”

He had trouble meeting my gaze, and I didn’t force it. Some things were easier to be vulnerable about than others.

“I was happy to help.” I told him.

Nitro bounced up and down a couple times, then made the leap onto the couch. He went straight to Josh and started trying to lick his face, but after a few gentle rebukes, he settled down in Josh’s lap.

“I have so many questions.” Josh finally looked me in the eyes.