Page 7 of Freeze Frame

Hannah answered the door in a backward ball cap, an oversized hoodie, and booty shorts that were so short she looked like she wasn’t wearing bottoms at all.

“Get in here, you bitch. Tell me all about this hottie you met.”

Hannah basically yanked me through the door and then promptly scooped Nitro out of my arms. She flipped him on hisback and cradled him like a baby, and the little slut let her. “If my landlord wouldn’t shit ponies, I’d steal this dog from you.”

“Nitro would probably let you,” I mused, watching the way Nitro relaxed in her arms. Honestly, dog… same. Hannah had always had that effect on me. Where Violet could put me on edge with barely more than a word, one look from Hannah could put me at ease.

“I have a date this weekend, and I’m so fucking nervous.” I flopped down on the large beanbag that Hannah refused to part with and closed my eyes. Her apartment always subtly smelled of lemon cleaner with hints of her perfume layered over top. The bright colors she’d decorated her space with made me feel like I was in some kind of citrus garden.

“What’s got you nervous?” Hannah carefully lowered herself into her egg-shaped chair and tucked her legs up underneath her.

“It’s the first time I’ve gone out with someone in a long-ass time, and it’s the first time in basically forever that he doesn’t already know I’m trans.”

Hannah frowned, not because she didn’t like the idea of me going out, but because she understood the risk of dating a cis person. Telling someone too soon felt like an overshare but waiting too long could make them feel like you were trying to trick them. When the reality was that either one of those scenarios came with a huge risk.

“Do you want me to tag along? I can watch you from a safe distance. If he tries anything, I can kick his ass for you. Didn’t you say he was older than you? I’ll break his hip.”

“You’re so unnecessarily violent, Hannah.”

“I believe the proper response is yes, Hannah. I would like a safety net, Hannah. I would appreciate you using all the hours you put into self-defense classes in case things go bad, Hannah.”

Instead of saying literally any of that, I let out a groan. “It would be so much easier ifwewere attracted to each other.”

“I’ll still marry you up. You know that.”

“And deprive you of a satisfactory marital bed, no thank you.” A bone-deep sigh rippled out of me. “What if he hates me? What if it goes horribly wrong?”

“Does he give off bad vibes?”

“Ugh. No. It’s sort of the opposite. I told him my parents hate me. He didn’t ask why, and I didn’t tell him, obviously. It was weird, in a nice way, that he didn’t press me about it. Usually people ask. Or try to put their version of life over my own experience. No, Josh, your parents can’t possibly hate you. That’s against the rules. Parents love their kids.” I rolled my eyes.

“So if you’re not worried that he’ll take it badly… what are you worried about? That he won’t?”

I cut her a look, and that’s all I had to do for her to understand. It felt like an even bigger risk for David to actually like me. If he liked me, and accepted me, and things went really well, it would suck even more when it ended. Because it would. There was no way a guy his age would want to stick with someone younger, messier, and far less settled than him. And then there was the whole sex worker thing. If he accepted that I was trans, it would still be a tall order to expect him to accept that I was a trans man who filmed adult content.

My date was starting to feel less like a date and more like a unicorn hunt. But a relationship couldn’t be built on anything but honesty. And look at me, putting the cart before the horse. I didn’t even know if David would want to finish dinner, let alone the date, let alone build anything with me after I told him everything.

Hannah released Nitro, and he shook out his fur, then wandered around the room, sniffing everything. Nitro alwaysseemed more lively when he was with his little dog friend, Wally. It was strange to relate to a dog because I knew that feeling. Saturday in the dog park, I’d laughed more with David than I had in weeks.

“What are you going to wear?”

“He said casual but nice. Nothing too fancy, though.”

“You have that shirt, that one button-up with the silver thread that makes it stand out. And those slacks with the shiny pinstripes.”

I shook my head. “Too dressy.”

Hannah knew my wardrobe almost as well as I did. Maybe better, because I had forgotten about those pants. I made a mental note to wear them for David one day, hopefully, because they made my ass look fantastic.

“Okay, the red button-up and the white jeans. Roll up the sleeves, though.”

“You women and your weird obsession with forearms.”

She rolled her eyes in a dramatic fashion, flipping her chestnut waves over her shoulder. “It’s not weird. There’s something super hunky about a man with his sleeves rolled up. It screamsI might look nice, but I’m not afraid to get dirty.Besides, have you ever paid attention to a man’s forearms? My preference is for thick ones with a good amount of hair.”

“So basically the opposite of mine?” I held up one of my arms for scrutiny. My hours in the gym had added muscle to my body in different places, but I was still on the leaner, more slender side, sort of like a swimmer.

“You have nice arms. Toned. Strong looking. You might not be able to pick me up and manhandle me, but I bet you’ve got a good amount of power there.”