Page 21 of The F*ck-It List

“What the hell?” I wheeze into the dark.

The photo suddenly disappears and the three dots wave at me to signal he’s messaging.

RICHARD: Shit, sorry. That was not meant for you.

ME: Okay.

ME: Who was it for?

Why would I ask that? It is absolutely not my business.

RICHARD: My girlfriend.

RICHARD: Honestly Bea, I’m really sorry. And totally embarrassed. You know I wouldn’t have sent that to you on purpose, right?

ME: Yeah. I know. Well, no harm done, it’s not like I’ve never seen it before.

ME: That sounded weird. Anyway, congrats on the girlfriend.

RICHARD: Thanks, Bea. I hope you’re doing well.

Oh yeah, I’m frigging fantastic. I don’t answer him, instead turning the lights on and video calling Cas. They answer quickly, sat up in bed with a bag of peanut M&Ms resting on their stomach.

“Hey, Honey Bea how are yo—” They lean forward to look at their screen closer. “What’s wrong?”

“Richard sent me a dick pic.” I’m holding my phone up with one arm, the other is holding Pedro close for support.

Cas freezes with an M&M halfway to their mouth. “He what now?”

“A dick pic,” I repeat. “Like, a good one.”

“Dull Dick sent a not so dull dick pic?”

“Try saying that five times in a row,” I huff and Cas snorts, popping the candy.

“Holy shit, why?”

“He says he was supposed to send it to his girlfriend,” I mumble.

“Bullshit!” Cas slaps a hand down on the bed next to them. “In what world does his phone list your last chat with him from what, five months ago, right next to his current girlfriend?” Heathcliff meows in agreement and starts making biscuits on my chest.

A fair point, but even though it makes sense, I can’t imagine Richard sending an unsolicited picture of his fully erect penis with his fist wrapped tightly around the base, just a hint of his washboard abs in view. When we were dating, he wouldn’t even sext with me, it made him uncomfortable. Now he’s sending full blown naked pictures? Good for him. Glad he’s got himself someone he’s comfortable enough with to do that. He deserves it. Totally deserves it. I’m not bitter. Not at all. I just haven’t had sex in over six months.

“Okay, okay,” Cas says. “I can see a lot happening with your face right now, what’s going on?”

I stutter a bit, unsure where to start but then I see another arm in the side of the frame. “Is someone with you?” I ask.

“Oh, uh yeah.” They turn their head to the side and smile at whoever’s there, on their bed. “Come say hi.”

Another face pops into view, a gorgeous face smattered with freckles and large gold-rimmed glasses, a halo of glorious corkscrew curls bouncing as they smile into the camera.

“Hi.” Their voice is sweet and feminine.

“Hi,” I say back.

“I’m going to go make some tea, give you guys a chance to chat,” they tell Cas, leaning in to kiss their cheek.

“Okay,” Cas beams back and then we wait until the door clicks closed before Cas silently screams at me with wide, excited eyes.