Page 22 of The F*ck-It List

“What the hell, dude?” I laugh. “Why are you answering your phone when you’re literally in bed with someone?”

Cas grins. “We weren’t doing anything; we were just watchingGilmore Girlsand snacking.”

“Who is that?”

I witness the rare phenomenon of Cas blushing, dipping their gaze and biting their lip. “Nina.”

I gasp. “Water cooler Nina?”

Cas nods and we share a quiet squeal between us. “She called me when I was on the train home from you last weekend and we went out a couple of times. She came over tonight to Netflix and chill and we’ve literally been watching Netflix for a couple of hours.”

“Oh my God, Cas,” I say completely blindsided by this. “Why didn’t you tell me you’d finally gone out with water cooler Nina?”

Cas shrugs. “I was going to, but I know you were busy and still finding your feet, so I was planning on letting you know after the weekend with your mum.” They pause for a moment. “Your mum still coming?”

I roll my eyes. “Yes, Cas, Mum is still coming tomorrow. And don’t deflect. Are you two, like,dating, dating?”

They smirk. “I think so.”

“Holy shit, this is huge for you.”

“Okay, let’s not make it a bigger deal than it is.”

Inexplicably, my eyes start to sting.

Cas’s face drops. “Oh my God, are you crying?”

“No,” I say, but my voice breaks.

“Bea.” Cas laughs sympathetically. “Babe, are you upset I didn’t tell you?”

I shake my head but they’re not entirely wrong.

“Bea, I wasn’t hiding it from you or anything, it’s just really new and I was going to tell you when we next had a long chat rather than the quick catch ups we’ve had this week.” I can hear the guilt in their voice, and I want to tell them it’s fine, but I don’t.

“If I was still in London, you would have told me and had me come over to help you pick what to wear for your first date and we would have debriefed after.” I am actually crying now and feeling rather pathetic.

“Oh, Bea,” Cas says quietly. “Are you okay? Are you upset about the dick pic?”

“No,” I say truthfully. “But I’m pissed Richard has a girlfriend and I’m here crying in my bed alone at night.”

“Have you checked his socials? Is she pretty?” Cas asks.

“No! I don’t care about her, I’m not in competition with her, and I don’t want Richard back, it’s just…he’s so boring. How come he gets someone else six months after wanting to marry me, and I have no one?”

“So, this is because you want a boyfriend?” Cas asks, clearly unhappy with the idea.

“No,” I groan, unable to put the feeling into words.

“Listen, Bea. Richard is a basic bitch, he’s probably found another basic bitch who doesn’t mind his lacklustre love making every once in a while, because he indulges her love of caramel iced lattes and scented candles.”

“Hey,” I complain. “I like both those things.”

“Yeah, but they’re not your entire personality.”

“August hates me,” I blurt.

“What? No, he doesn’t why would he?”