Page 76 of The F*ck-It List

No. 25: Surprise someone

August

“So, your girlfriend and your sister are hanging out tonight?” Eli says, handing me a beer over the bar. I nod, he winces. “That can’t be good for you.”

I glare at him, and he laughs like the dick he is. Actually, I’m pleased Joanie invited Bea over tonight for Chinese food and wine, it’s good for both of them. The company, not the greasy food and alcohol. Joanie doesn’t really have friends other than Eli and me, she tends to put people off with a zero tolerance for idiots and her resting bitch face—again, her words, not mine. I know Bea needs people to be close with. She has Cas but they’re back in London and she’ll do well to have someone to talk to here too. She can talk to me, of course, butI know it’s not enough, she needs a friend and I have moved beyond that title, gladly, willingly, and with no regrets.

“Here,” a gruff voice snaps me out of my thoughts with the loud clank of a plate being practically dropped on the bar in front of me.

I turn to give Marge a nervous smile of gratitude for the fish and chips she’s delivered. Her dark grey, wiry hair is pulled back into a bun but mostly sticking out in a ratty nest, her deep-set wrinkles are gathering at the corners of her eyes where she’s narrowing them at me. A cigarette hangs from her puckered lips although there doesn’t seem to be any smoke coming from it.

“Hear you’ve got yourself a girl,” she croaks at me.

“Maybe,” I say cautiously.

“Hm,” she grunts looking unimpressed. “About fucking time, you moved on from M—”

“Marge!” Eli barks, coming out from the back and looking at his cook with wide disbelieving eyes. “You cannot smoke in the pub!”

She rolls her dark brown, nearly black, eyes. “It’s not lit, keep your knickers on, princess.”

“Jesus, Marge,” Eli groans, shaking his head. “I should totally fire you.”

She turns her head slowly to pin him with one of her signature stares. Eli and I used to think Marge was a witch. We never knew where she actually lived so we’d tell stories of her living in the woods and only trekking into the village when it needed terrorising.

Under her withering stare, all of Eli’s bulky muscles seem to shrink until he looks nothing more than the scrawny teenager he once was. “Sorry, Marge,” he mumbles.

She grunts disapprovingly and disappears back into the kitchen with a significant limp. I turn back to my best friend, and we share a moment of camaraderie over surviving a rare interaction with Marge. But then he reinflates and leans on the bar opposite me, stealing a chip from my plate like he doesn’t have access to them whenever he wants.

“Seriously?” I grumble.

“I’m hungry,” he says like that excuses anything.

“Then go ask Marge to make you dinner.”

“Can you fucking imagine?” he asks with real fear in his eyes. “Anyway, tell me how it’s going with Bea.”

“Why? So you can go to the high council with insider information?”

“Ruth has been pestering me,” he admits with a nod. “But mostly because you’re my friend and I love you and I want to check in with you.”

I grimace slightly at the touchy-feely aspect of it, but I appreciate him all the same. “It’s good,” I say staring at my plate rather than at Eli, hoping the dip of my chin conceals the goofy smile. It does not.

“Oh, you are so gone,” Eli snorts.

“Shut up,” I throw a chip at him and regret it immediately when he catches it and pops it into his mouth with a smug wink.

“I’m happy for you, I like Bea, she’s good for you.”

I nod again, because I can’t disagree. Bea has been good for me, pulling me out of the monotony I’d found myself in, bringing her sunshine smiles into the darkness I’d kept hidden in. “I love her.”

Eli stops pretending he’s doing anything resembling work to stare at me slack jawed and wide eyed. Bea and I exchanged I love yous overa week ago, but I haven’t told anyone yet. “Woah,” my best friend breathes.

“Yeah.” I sigh, digging into the battered fish on my plate.

“That’s a big deal,” Eli says seriously.

“It’s—” I stop before telling him it isn’t a big deal, because we’d both know it’s a lie.