Page 55 of Psychotic Nightmares

Because I have my protector in the shadows.

I’m completely calm and collected, and yet filled with murderous rage. It’s a strange feeling, but it makes me feel alive, on my own. I felt alive with Dante. I felt alive with Julian. But this is different. I can’t put my finger on it, but I loveit.

Taking a step forward, I raise my hand and slap Pa’s cheek, sending his head flying to the side. Taking Julian's tactic, I stay quiet, not saying a word. “Natalie.” Pa sighs my name. “Are you jealous because I chose little Anya over you?” I look over to Julian, who is holding two different tools. In one hand is a hammer and some nails, in the other is a fire poker, its tip heated a molten red. I shake my head at them both as he offers them to me and I look around the room.Keeping my focus on the weapon I want to use. Julian follows my gaze and chuckles darkly.

Wandering over to the wall, he reaches up and pulls down the cattle prod, he presses the button a few times, filling the silent room with a buzzing sound, followed by pa’s heavy breathing. He used one of these on me once. Right between my legs when I first refused to get raped by an uncle, so it’s the perfect first torture device to use on him.

“Natalie.” Pa sounds panicked as Julian hands me the prod and I hold it against his junk. “Natalie ple…” His begs abruptly stop and the high pitch of his screams replace them. Delightment spreads through my veins as he starts to cry.

You never stopped when I screamed so why should I?

“Please, no more.” He gasps when I remove the prod and go for another tool on the wall. “No, no please no more.” I point to the baseball bat covered with razor wire and Julian reaches over me to grab it. Whispering in my ear as he does asking if I’m okay, his hand on my hip is comforting, it’s fucked up but I’m so glad he’s in here with me now, even when I feel his hardness press into my back.Why do I want to touch him? Am I just as sadistic as him?I nod in reply ignoring my sexual urges, walk over and swing hard enough to knock pa from the chair. His legs are tied up so he doesn’t stand up straight away. “Fuck.” He groans and manages to get himself up on his knees. I smack him again, this time on his back. Just like he did with Sarah. Hit her over and over again with a bat until she finally agreed to take three uncles at once. I hit him three more times before gesturing to Julian to standhim up. Before he puts pa back on the chair, I yank down his boxers and walk over to the fire.

“No, no please. Not that.” He cries. “I know what you’re doing. You’re doing to me everything I did to you and your siblings. You can do anything but that, Natalie please.” I find what I’m looking for in the fire, my blood raging hotter than the flames, and take one of the tongs to remove the metal ring. “Please.” I grab another pair and make my way over slowly. The image of my pa being held to the chair by Julian, the former's eyes wide and begging while the latter laughs brings me some sort of twisted joy. I use the free pair of tongs to straighten pa’s limp cock and take my time gliding the heated metal over it. His silentscreams make Julian laugh more. Pa starts losing consciousness, making me fume.

I slap him awake.

“Natalie please, if you’re going to kill me. Make it quick.”

I shake my head. He put us through hell for years, I want to make him suffer as much as those kids did. I press the ring down some more until it hits the base of his pathetic dick. He used heat on Lydia after she caught an STI. Tried to burn the infection out of her, when that didn’t work - because of course it didn’t - he tried to burn her vagina closed so she couldn’t sleep with another person. I still hear her screams in my sleep. I saw her a few years ago and she’s doing well, living her life with her wife and adopted child. She managed to run away a week after the burning. She got herself fixed up, telling the hospital staff the same story we have all been taught to say.

“I’m not sure what happened, I got drunk and woke up injured. No, I don't want to get the police involved.”

We got taken to different hospitals each time. When I got diagnosed with sepsis after the birth of Anya, I was taken almost seven hours away to a hospital across the country. I was told to say I ran away and gave birth on my own and gave my baby up to a couple on the street. Whatever Ma and Pa said we had to say, we said it. They used our weaknesses against us if we didn’t. My weakness was the younger girls. When I left Ma only had her boys. I thought they were safe. I believed they were safe. I didn’t know they took Anya back and did to her the same as they did to me.

Burn, you bastard.I think to myself, then grab the knife from Julian’s pocket.

Dropping the tongs I used for the metal ring, I still hold his dick up with the others. He just needs to lose one more appendage. Julian cut off his hand, now it’s my turn.

“What are you doing?” he screams as I make the first cut against his balls. “No, please.” He starts wriggling around in Julian’s grasp. “NATALIE!”

“That’s not my name.”

“What?” He cries.

The door slides open, Dante is standing there, now wearing his mask and enters. He stands beside pa and slaps a hand over his mouth muffling his screams.

Staring up at him, he gives me a nod of approval. Even though he hates violence, he doesn’t stop me from doing what I need to do. And my stomach overflows with desire for the newcomer. Forbothof them. Fuck how the hell am I meant to choose just one?

“I said, that’s not my name.” My two men look toward each other and Julian shrugs. “Come on Pa, you know it and I know it. You changed my name when I was sent to you.” Dante lifts his hand so Pa can answer me.

“I did,” he weeps. “I didn’t like what those other people called you.”

“Say my name Pa.”

“Na…”

“Not the one you gave me.” I slide the knife up and down his cock. “I don’t want that name any more. I don’t want to associate any part of my life with you.”

He chuckles. He’s actually brave enough to laugh. “We have a baby together. You are never getting rid of me.”

Smack.Dante slaps pa on the back of his head.

“You don’t even deserve to go to hell for what you did to her.” I sneer. “She’s your blood. And you still raped her. What kind of vile person does that to their own daughter.”

“I didn’t bring her up, so I don’t see her as mine.”

“She is though. And that’s what makes it even sicker.”