Page 40 of Fish Out of Water

“Listen, Robbie.” Jake strode forward until he fell in step beside him. “I’m a pro at one-night stands. We fuck, we break it off, and then we never speak of it again.”

“Yeah?” Robbie looked up. “Tell me, Jake, how many guys have texted you back after you told them not to contact you again?”

The color drained from Jake’s face. “Hey, it’s not a 100 percent success rate. But we know each other. We can keep it at bay once we get it out of our systems.”

“I don’t want to look at you every day after I’ve… after I’ve…” Robbie couldn’t finish the sentence, and as Jake imagined what Robbie must have been seeing, he shuddered.

“Yeah, maybe not.”

They emerged from the alley, and Robbie pulled his keys out of his pocket to unlock his car. It was so black that it blended seamlessly into the midnight tableau surrounding it. The lights flashed briefly as it unlocked, illuminating the street around them for just a second. Robbie stepped around to the driver’s side and got in, leaving Jake standing on the sidewalk looking like a chump.

“Is this really it?” Jake asked.

“It has to be, Jake.” Robbie shut the door with a settling, softthud.

Jake watched him go, the car lights getting smaller and smaller until he turned a corner, heading back toward home. Jake needed to get home too. It was late, and as much as he had wanted more from this night, as easily as he could have gone back into the bar and picked up another guy, that would never work. He’d tried it once already and failed miserably.

The only solution to his craving was Robbie, and he was driving back to a house Jake had never even seen before. Yearning for a man he couldn’t have was pointless and degrading and, worst of all, hopeless. Whatever twisted fantasy he wanted with Robbie, he was never getting it.

And yet, as Jake walked back through the alley, past the section of the wall where Robbie had pushed him against, hecould still feel Robbie’s teeth on his lower lip. He could still hear Robbie’s heart racing along with his own, the sheer audacity of what they were doing turning him on even more.

Jake pulled his lip into his mouth, chewing on it until it ached. Robbie was long gone. He had to stop thinking about him. There was no sense in any of it, and it would only lead to more nights like this: more long, frustrating nights.

In spite of his exhaustion,Jake couldn’t manage to fall asleep. He tried jerking off, but every time he closed his eyes, he was plagued with visions of Robbie—not of him in the alley or the bar, but in Sandway, looking down over his nose with that patronizing, punchable expression—and it made Jake too tense. He tried taking a shower to relieve the tension, but that only woke him up more. He tried drinking some water, but then he was hungry. He tried eating some food to quiet his stomach, but that made him feel sick.

Finally, he slipped back into bed, closed his eyes, and waited patiently for sleep to find him. It did, but only hours later when he was so tired the backs of his eyes burned, and the relief from a few short hours of sleep was minimal at best.

He didn’t want to wake up in the morning. He didn’t mind facing Isabel. He didn’t have to tell her what had happened the night before. But he would have to see Robbie today, whether he liked it or not.

The faster Jake got through his hours, the sooner he could be free of Robbie entirely. And as much as he hoped Robbie would try avoiding him again, he doubted the man would skip out on his volunteer work just because of Jake. He was too committed to his cause to do something as selfless and merciful as that.

Sure enough, when Jake got to the beach, Robbie was already there helping some park employees move firewood. Jake jumped in to help, barely offering Robbie so much as a glance in his direction. They had to talk, but not now. Not in front of other people.

It was only after an agonizingly long hour that they were left alone, and after all that time to think, Jake had no idea what he was going to say.

Memories of that kiss, the drunken one on the doorstep, and then the one that Robbie had pressed upon him last night, jumbled his already fuzzy mind.

“You look tired,” Robbie said nonchalantly.

Jake glanced up. He waited, holding his breath, but Robbie didn’t elaborate. “Yeah,” he finally said. “Didn’t sleep much last night. You?”

Robbie sighed. “No,” he said slowly, “I did not.”

“Too much to drink,” Jake muttered.

“Yeah.”

Robbie ran his fingers through his hair, pulling his fringe away from his forehead. It fell back into place smoothly, and Jake instantly regretted watching him closely enough to notice that. Robbie must have felt Jake’s eyes on him, because even though he was still avoiding eye contact, he turned away fully, poking the toe of his shoe at a rock half-buried in the sand.

“Except we didn’t have too much to drink last night, did we, Jake?”

His tone was almost accusatory, and Jake took a step back. “I dunno, alcohol too late at night makes it hard for me to fall asleep sometimes.”

“Well, it doesn’t have that effect on me.” Robbie looked up at Jake, his eyes piercing.

Jake swallowed hard. He wanted to look away, but he couldn’t do that, not when he and Robbie were finally talking. He was half-responsible for this mess; he had to see it through.

“I couldn’t sleep last night,” Robbie continued, “because I was thinking aboutyou.”