Page 40 of Backward Motion

He moaned as Connor brought his lips to the head of his cock. He seemed to savor it, biding his time before taking the shaft deeper into his mouth. Sam hissed, and his head slumped against the pillow.It felt incredible. He couldn’t remember how long it had been. But there was something different too; the noise in his head was muted, the usual fears momentarily silenced. He wasn’t worried about saying or doing the wrong thing or whether he was too eager or not eager enough. Connor made him feel like none of that mattered. He was aware only of the enveloping warmth of Connor’s mouth and the low hum of pleasure coming from the man’s throat as he sucked him. Sam’s world had narrowed to a single point of focus—he and Connor together—and nothing could permeate the bubble.

Connor moved faster now, one hand gripping him at the base as he flicked his tongue along the sensitive underside of Sam’s shaft. Sam felt himself beginning to unravel.

“Wait, Connor, I want...” He gasped. He wanted more, more of him, all of him. The words swirled in his head, and his body ached with the injustice of having to form words at all. Feelings were so much easier. “I want...”

Connor stopped and lifted his head, studying him intently. Sam knew whatever he said, Connor would listen—no questions asked. Even if he told Connor to take his hands off him that instant.

But that wasn’t what the heat pumping through Sam’s veins was telling him. He’d never been so sure of anything in his life.

Sam sucked in a breath. “I want you to fuck me,” he said, his voice hitching.

Chapter Nineteen

Sam lay naked on top of the covers, pressed against Connor’s warm body. Connor had his eyes closed and one arm draped across Sam’s stomach. Sam felt tears prick the corners of his eyes, and a lump lodged in his throat. He thought of all those times he’d had sex, riddled with anxiety, willing it to be over, never knowing it could feel like this.

Sam had tried to hurry Connor—aided by an arsenal of lube—through his painstakingly gentle prep work. But Connor displayed an attentiveness to Sam’s comfort that made him feel both indulged and embarrassed. He took to the task with a pragmatism that Sam recognized from work, his eyes narrowing in concentration like they did when he was focused on a complex installation. It would have been amusing if Sam hadn’t been so distracted by the sensation of Connor guiding one then two fingers inside him. Connor drew his fingers in and out, curving upward to nudge Sam’s prostate and leaving him loose-limbed and panting. He kissed Sam’s open mouth, their breaths mingling.

“That’s it,” he coaxed as Sam relaxed around him. “Feels better when you’re ready.”

And it did. Sam wondered if he’d ever really been ready before.

Connor retrieved a box of condoms from the nightstand and didn’t try to wheedle his way out of wearing one, which Sam had encountered all too often with other men. Sam took the opportunity to admire how nice Connor’s dick looked in his hand as he sheathed it.Connor caught him staring and returned a bashful smile that made Sam pull him in for another open-mouthed kiss.

As they got into position—limbs bumping awkwardly and snickering with first-time jitters—Connor reached for a pillow to prop up Sam’s hips, and Sam’s stomach squirmed with unease. All the care Connor was lavishing on him made Sam feel exposed. He wanted to skip ahead so there was less chance of Connor deciding he was more trouble than he was worth.

But Connor seemed determined to take his time. He reached down to smooth the line of worry from Sam’s forehead. “You know we don’t have to do anything, right?”

“I know. I want to.”

“Yeah?”

Sam nodded. “What about you?”

Connor was nestled between Sam’s thighs, and the way his eyes darkened sent the heat rising to Sam’s cheeks. “Fuck, Sam, I want you so bad.” His voice cracked with restraint, and he cupped Sam’s chin in his hand. “You have no idea.”

Sam arched his back instinctively. “Please, Connor...”

“I got you.” Connor ran his thumb across Sam’s lips then slipped his wide, warm hands behind Sam’s knees and lifted his legs. They both groaned when Connor teased the head of his cock against Sam’s slick opening. “Oh Christ...” Connor growled and held still.

Sam reached for Connor’s hips to push him forward, wanting to be filled, but Connor resisted, chuckling at Sam’s impatience. “All in good time, Samuel.”

Connor eased inside him, stopping to let Sam adjust as he went. When he was in to the hilt, Connor bent to kiss him, and Sam moaned into his mouth at the intensity of the feeling. Sometimes being immobilized set off a flurry of panic, but with Connor, he was anchored, secure.

Connor began to move, attuned to the slightest grimace, the softest whimper, a strange responsiveness that felt so out of place at first and then like the most natural thing in the world. They were in this together, building off one another’s pleasure.

Sam hadn’t realized how much more capacity he had to feel. With the inner chatter turned down, his body tingled, arousal flooding his limbs, each thrust heightening the growing swell of his pleasure. The weight of Connor’s hands against the backs of his thighs and the way he moved inside him set Sam’s skin on fire. He gasped and ground his teeth, pulling Connor closer.

“You good?” Connor asked, his eyes searching Sam’s face.

“So good,” Sam whispered. “Don’t stop...”

Time seemed to expand and contract, blurring at the edges. Connor changed positions when the pressure got too intense, moving faster then slowing to keep Sam on the brink.

He pressed his mouth to Sam’s ear, his voice strained. “Look at you, so beautiful.” As if Sam were a masterpiece to behold and not a mess of nerve endings as he fell apart in the man’s arms.

Sam found himself once again on his back, Connor stroking his cock in time to his rolling thrusts, when he felt a shockwave ripple through his body. He let out a cry of surprise as he realized he was coming, and then the release swallowed him whole. Connor buried his face in Sam’s neck with a ragged groan and finished moments later. Digging his fingers into Connor’s back, Sam sucked air into his lungs with shuddering breaths. He felt raw and cracked open. Mournful yet deliriously happy. They rocked together, still intertwined, as Connor kissed him tenderly, the world falling away.

Beside him in bed, Connor shifted. Sam swiped his eyes with the back of his hand.