Page 31 of All I Feel

“Babe, don’t do this.” I came to a stop in front of the door and turned back to look at him. Ryan looked on the verge of breaking down, and his voice gave him away when he begged, “Please.”

For several long moments, I simply stared at him. Dozens of thoughts about all that I’d learned had filtered through my mind, but there was one thing that became glaringly obvious as I took in the disbelieving look on Ryan’s face.

He thought I was weak. He thought I would cave. That he’d come over, tell me his sob story, blaming me for what happened between us, and that I’d accept him back into my life like nothing happened. I wondered what I’d done wrong to give him the impression that I was a woman who wouldn’t stand up for herself. Sure, I might’ve felt like I was dying on the inside, but I still knew what I was worth.

“I asked you not to call me that. Now, I need you to leave.”

“Tessa—”

“Now,” I said, my voice firm as I opened the door.

Ryan’s eyes darted between the open door and me, ultimately settling on me. “I’m not going to give you up. I’ll give you time, but I’m going to win you back.”

“That’s not an option.”

He jerked his chin down. “We’ll see. You’ll want what we had back. And I’m going to make sure we both get it.”

Before I had the chance to tell him he was wrong, Ryan walked out.

I closed the door behind him, remained motionless for a few seconds, and stared off as it all hit me. Then I finally allowed the feelings I’d been burying deep to bubble to the surface. Making it to the couch, I curled up in a ball and allowed everything to pour out of me.

NINE

ACE

The familiar buzzsent countless waves of relief washing over me.

Knowing that Tessa was going to be meeting with Ryan, I’d been a mess from the moment I woke up this morning. My phone had been practically glued to my palm, so the second I saw her name on the display, I let out a breath and answered.

“Tessa.”

“Ace.”

Her voice was hushed, barely a whisper, but it held so much agony. I ignored the way my body locked at her delicate tone, softened my own, and asked, “Where are you, Princess?”

“Home.”

“I’m leaving right now. I’ll be right there.”

Silence. Then, “Thank you.”

She was barely holding herself together. “Hang tight, Tessa. Just a few minutes, okay?”

“Okay.”

I disconnected the call and took off. Minutes later, just as I promised, I was at Tessa’s front door. When she opened it and our eyes locked, she lost it.

Kicking the door shut behind me, I scooped her into my arms and carried her over to the couch. Although I wanted answers to every question that I’d been asking myself since I woke this morning—what she would learn, or would he convince her to forgive him—the only thing I could manage at the moment was holding her while whispering comforting words.

It took a lot longer than I would’ve liked for Tessa to settle enough that her breathing returned to normal, and her breaths no longer hitched. But the second I believed she was in a place to handle it, I asked, “Are you okay?”

Tessa’s cheek had been pressed against my chest while my chin rested lightly on the top of her head. One hand held her firmly in place, the other stroking reassuringly over her shoulder.

At my question, she pulled her face from my chest, tipped her chin up, and looked at me. “I’m so disappointed, Ace. How could I not have known what was happening in my relationship for six of the eight months I was with Ryan?”

Six months?

Why I thought this had been a one-time thing was beyond me. Maybe it had simply been hope for Tessa’s sake because the thought of her having to experience any pain was too much to bear.