Page 30 of All I Feel

“That was unnecessary,” he clipped.

“Oh, I’m sorry. How awful of me to make you feel bad whenyouwere cheating onmeforsix whole months!”

“Tessa, you need to calm down. We just need to figure out how we’re going to move forward from here.”

I ignored that preposterous statement and asked, “Who was it?”

“What?”

“Who was she? Who was the woman getting your time and attention?”

“Does that matter?”

“This wasn’t random women, Ryan. This was one specific woman who was sharing your bed while you were with me. I think I have a right to know.”

He hesitated. “It was my ex.”

As quickly as I could snap my fingers, Ryan landed another blow. And it might’ve been the worst one of all.

He’d claimed this was about physical needs—not that I bought that as an acceptable excuse—and yet, he’d been sneaking around behind my back for six months with his ex.

“Does she know about me?”

“She does.”

If only I knew for certain whether he said that to cover his tracks or if he was telling the truth. It was amazing how quickly I’d gone from having faith in this man, believing he wasthe one, to suddenly not being able to trust a word that came out of his mouth.

My mind had been made up long before he showed up here today, but with all that he’d said from the moment he opened his mouth, Ryan solidified that decision for me. “I hope you understand that we’re done.”

He took another step toward me, reaching for my hand. I moved back out of his grasp. “Tessa.” His voice was soft, gentle. “Don’t say that. Take a moment and think about it.”

“I’ve had a week and a day to think about it, Ryan. And I’m done. I was done before you got here. Now, after learning just how long this went on…” I trailed off, shaking my head with the disappointment I felt in myself.

“So, you don’t love me? You can just let me go like that?” There was an edge of irritation in his tone.

“It wasn’t me who let go, Ryan.”

“I explained myself, babe. But I promise it’s done. You and I… Now that we’ve got the physical aspect to our relationship, we’re perfect. I don’t need anything else.”

My emotions were bubbling up inside of me. I couldn’t believe I’d allowed myself to be fooled by a man who was this oblivious, a man who believed I could overlook even one instance of infidelity, let alone six months’ worth of it.

“You might not need anything else, but I do. I need someone I can trust, someone who thinks the world of me.”

“I do.”

“No, you don’t. If you did, you would’ve waited as long as it took for me to feel ready to take that step with you without feeling the need to look elsewhere for physical pleasure. And if you couldn’t do that and really thought the world of me, you would’ve had the decency to be honest and let me go, so you could go get what you needed without cheating on me. Because I deserved at least that much.”

Nodding his agreement, Ryan said, “You’re right, Tessa. You’re absolutely right, babe. I fucked up. I’m sorry. But what we’ve got is good. And I love you. I’m sorry. We can work this out.”

“I’m sorry. We can’t. And I think you need to leave.”

“Please, Tessa. Just listen to me.”

As he stepped toward me, I skirted around him and began moving toward the front door. “No. There’s nothing you have to say that I want to hear.”

Ryan followed behind me, panic rising in his tone. “What do I have to do? Anything you want, I promise, I’llgive it to you. Whatever it takes to make this up to you, to prove how much you mean to me.”

“That time has passed. You’ve already shown me how little I mean.”