Page 45 of A Thousand Second Chances

His hazel eyes widen in surprise as they flick up to me. I force myself to hold his gaze no matter how much I want to mumble an apology and slink back into my seat.

I’m close to doing just that when Quinn nudges him hard in the side, and he grunts, “Fine.”

The two of us walk in silence toward the front. Without thinking, I slip into the hall outside the bathrooms.

Chris glances around at the familiar paintings. “Are youthatcommitted to history repeating itself?”

“Actually, I was kinda hoping we could skip the shouting match this time.”

“Skip it? But shouting seems to be about all we’ve got left.” I stare at the carpet, and he sighs. “Sorry. I, uh, didn’t mean it like that.”

“I think you meant it exactly like that,” I say. Not that he’s wrong—every conversation we have seems to turn into a fight.

There’s a beat of silence—less tense than some of our others on this trip, but still far from comfortable.

“Look—” I start right as he says, “Percy, I—”

We both break off, and I look up to find him wearing a sheepish grin. He gestures at me. “You first. This was your idea, after all.”

My idea.The thought of being the one in control gives me the courage I need to spit out the words that have been bubbling in me all afternoon. “Look, I’m sorry I flipped out on you earlier in the woods. It wasn’t fair. It’s just…what you said cut a bit too close, and I overreacted. I probably could’ve handled that better.”

“Oh, youdefinitelycould’ve handled it better.” The small smile he gives me takes most of the sting out of his words. His smile quickly fades, leaving him looking uncertain. “But I’ve gotta admit, I’m confused about what I did to hit such a nerve. You know I was joking, right?”

“I know.”

He peers more closely at me, taking a step forward. The hallway’s not particularly wide, and that leaves only a handful of inches separating us.

“Whatever our history together,” he says, “I’d never intentionally do anything to hurt you.”

Heat rises in me at the earnestness in his voice and on his face. It’s clear he means every word, and I think back over the various times he’s stood up for me this trip. Even when he was furious at me or hating me, even when he wanted nothing to do with me, he still tried to protect me from the rest of the world.

I fight down the urge to tug him closer—to feel his comforting weight pressed against me. If I wanted a reenactment of our original fight, that would be a surefire way to do it. Instead, I take a deep breath and pour my guts out. “My mom passed away.”

Chris’ eyes widen, and before I can react,he’sthe one who closes the gap between us. His arms wrap around me, and I close my eyes, burying my face in his neck and inhaling his familiar scent. I allow myself to the count of five—five glorious seconds of pretending like the last two years never happened, and Chris and I are still awe. Then, I force myself to release my grip and step away. Chris lowers his arms, letting me go.

“God, Perce, I’m so sorry.” The anguish in his voice threatens my fragile composure. “I know how close you were.”

I nod, my throat tight.

He hesitates, and I can see the war playing out on his face. He wants to ask me something but isn’t sure if he should.

“Go ahead,” I say, even as my gut churns. “I don’t mind talking about her.”

I can’t tell if he sees through the lie. Either way, he asks, “When? I mean, when did she, uh…”

My pulse quickens, and I take a deep breath, striving to maintain my self-composure. “A little over a year ago, in the summer. But I found out she was sick the December before, so I had a few months to prepare.”

Not that there’s any way to prepare for something like that.

I watch as he does the mental math and can tell the moment it clicks, his face paling. “December our freshman year? But that means…”

I nod again—the best response I can manage.

For a moment, he looks like he wants to step toward me again before rubbing the back of his neck instead. “Christ, Perce. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I tried to,” I say, fiddling nervously with my glasses. “On the ferry, and then again right here that original Saturday. But after the second time you shut me down, I figured it was better to leave it alone. Dredging up our past only seemed to make things worse between us.”

He rolls his eyes. “I don’t meannow, asshole. Why didn’t you tell me backthen?”