Page 220 of Saving Forever with the Hockey Captain

I stop with my hand on the handle but do not turn around. “How else am I supposed to leave?”

She has no answer. Neither do I.

I open the door and walk out of the room, past the therapy equipment, the front desk and every ordinary place that has somehow become part of us.

For the first time since I began rehabilitation, I leave without looking back.

***

Annette

The door closes behind Jamie with a soft click.

For several seconds, I remain exactly where I am, one hand resting on the back of the chair, the other still wrapped around the edge of the desk.

I cannot seem to make either one move.

Outside the consultation room, the rehabilitation gym continues exactly as it always has.

Someone laughs. A therapist counts repetitions. A printer hums somewhere near the nurses' station.

Life moves forward with remarkable indifference to the fact that mine has just stopped.

I draw one slow breath. Then another. Neither one seems to reach my lungs.

A knock sounds gently against the open doorway. "Annette?"

I turn too quickly. Elise stands there holding another patient's chart.

"I thought your ten-thirty was in here."

"He left."

Something in my voice must answer the question before Elise can ask it.

She quietly sets the chart on the corner of the desk.

"You don't have another patient for forty-five minutes."

I nod.

"I know."

She hesitates. "Do you need anything?"

The question is kind enough to undo what little composure I have left.

I shake my head because speaking feels dangerous. Elise takes one step into the room before stopping again.

"I'll cover the front if you need a few minutes."

She doesn't wait for an answer. She simply leaves, closing the door behind her.

The silence returns. This time...it wins.

I sink into the chair Jamie had been standing beside only moments earlier.

My hands begin trembling almost immediately, not dramatically, but just enough that I drop them into my lap to keep the shaking from spreading.