Page 24 of Bitterness of Spirit

Of Mr. Darcy, they had little to say, which was not unusual. Maria confessed she barely dared to even look at him, but Mr. Collins declared a man with such qualities had no time for small talk and that Lady Catherine appreciated Mr. Darcy’s seriousness.

Several days passed, and no word came from Rosings, much to Mr. Collins’ despair.

Elizabeth missed neither of the gentlemen. About one, she did not care; on the other, she tried not to dwell. She was tempted to approach Mr. Darcy and inquire further about Mr. Bingley, but she knew that was not possible. If she happened to meet him alone, she might attempt to bring up the subject.

Until then, she kept to her regular habit, spending time with Charlotte and Maria and taking solitary walks through the park.

For a while, Elizabeth was reluctant to go near Rosings. However, on the third day after the gentlemen’s arrival, she looked for Miss de Bourgh out of curiosity and found her at the usual place and time. Anne was not surprised to see her.

“Miss Bennet—I was wondering about you. Please sit. Are you well, I hope? You look very well.”

“Thank you, Miss de Bourgh. I confess I did not expect to see you here today. I thought you might be in your cousins’ company.”

“Oh… everybody is resting at Rosings. Besides, I do not see my cousins much. Richard is visiting someone in Kent, and he always has various engagements. I do not know many details. And Fitzwilliam—I believe he studies the estate’s papers. Mother relies greatly on his advice. He is a very wise man and an excellent landlord.”

“I am sure he is. Each must excel in something.”

“Oh, my cousin excels in many things. Most of his friends count on him for advice.”

“That is good—as long as the advice is sound.”

“It must be; everybody praises Fitzwilliam—his friends, our family, and especially Georgiana. And me, of course.”

“I have heard Miss Darcy is a very accomplished young lady,” Elizabeth offered.

“She is. She plays at the pianoforte exquisitely. And even at her tender age, she has excellent knowledge and skills in everything that is required of a lady. This is to my cousin’s credit too. He is responsible for her education.”

“I have heard Mr. Darcy speak very affectionately of his sister.”

“He does. I believe he is the best brother that one can have. I would have liked to have a brother. Or a sister. Or at least a friend. Loneliness is very hard.”

“Yes, I imagine,” Elizabeth whispered.

Miss de Bourgh continued. “I wonder how often I shall see my cousins in the future. It is a wonder Fitzwilliam has not married yet, but when he does, my seeing him will depend on his wife.”

Elizabeth looked disconcerted, and Anne smiled sadly.

“Oh, I am not naïve. I know many young women try to gain his attention. Richard teases him about it all the time. Mother insists he will accept the engagement that she and Aunt Anne established when we were babes. And that he will soon propose to me. But to be honest, I think not even Mother truly believes that. Fitzwilliam will marry when he finds someone to his liking. He can afford to choose, and I hope he will not settle for less.”

“Miss de Bourgh, your care for your cousin is remarkable. Few women would be so sympathetic.”

“Oh, I cannot deny I would like to marry my cousin. But since I know it will never happen, I wish him all happiness. And Georgiana too.”

“You are indeed kind and generous.”

“I deserve no praise. I am only being practical. And I know Fitzwilliam cares for me. He would help me with anything I need, and he will always take care of me. He has told me as much many times, and he always keeps his word. He just will not marry me.”

“But…then why would he allow Lady Catherine to preserve such empty hope? Forgive me for being so bold and perhaps impertinent. I only wonder—since you seem to be so close and affectionate—would it not be better to have everything clear? For your family, I mean.”

“He did tell me. And Mother too, but she says he will reconsider and change his mind. She says he is not a man to deny his duty. I believe my cousin’s lack of partiality to any particular lady keeps Mother’s hopes alive. She might reason that, since he is not interested in anyone as his wife, he might well accept me.”

Elizabeth’s heart ached just as when Charlotte told her she accepted Mr. Collins. Without thinking, she put her hand on Anne’s arm.

“Miss de Bourgh, you cannot accept that. You deserve better,” she said abruptly and frowned when her companion turned pale. She struggled to correct her imprudent statement.

“Forgive me…I have no right to give an opinion but… What I mean is that I believe you deserve better than just being accepted by anyone, even if he is the best of men. And forgive me, but I find it hard to understand. I have had the chance to know you better lately, and I know you are a woman with an excellent education, a kind nature, and good character. You possess the means to choose whatever you want in life. You are of age, and you depend on nobody! You also can afford to decide and choose to your liking what is best for you—not what others want!”

Elizabeth knew she had broken all the rules of propriety, and she might well be thrown out of Rosings and even Kent. Lady Catherine would demand the Collinses never speak to her again, and perhaps Mr. Darcy would support such a request. But she felt well…content…relieved. She at least spoke the truth and did so with complete honesty. What would follow mattered little.