Page 53 of I Punched an Alien and Now We’re in Couples Therapy

Cold, cold, freezing ice cold shot up from the bottom of my foot to the crown of my skull. Osid the sadist, the dead man, was kee-keeing away while holding a snowball to the sole of my foot all through my stream of belligerent threats.

Two blocks down, Krampus raised an icicle spear, and I could have kissed him, slobber and all. Osid freed me from his torment and tossed me over his shoulder before running back inside. I slammed the door shut behind us. He set me down next to the fire and dropped my boot on the stone hearth.

I shrugged off my shirt and jacket and scooted closer to the fire. Removing my other boot, I ripped my socks off and rested my feet as close as I could get. Sweet, sweet warmth met my frozen toes, and I moaned. I heard the creak of the stairs and asked, “Where are you going?”

Osid’s large hand paused on the banister, looming in the dark staircase with the red tint of sunset casting a soft glow on his impassive glare. He looked every bit the part of an evil king. “Away from you. They said we had three days to complete this task, and they can’t very well kill us if they want us to succeed. Stay there until morning.”

Damn, he’s mad mad.

There were no icicle spears raining down around us, so he must have been right, and the Biwban had called off the kaiju. Feeling slowly returned to my numbed toes, and I scooted a little ways back so the fire wasn’t so intense. For a moment, I considered just sprawling out on the fuzzy rug and taking a nap but decided I didn’t need the crick in my neck later and got my lazy butt up to rest on the couch. The soft cushions melted against my weary limbs, and I finally allowed my eyes to close. “Well, this is convenient at least.”

“Moonlight” by Kali Uchis began to play from the house speakers.

A deep sigh. I cracked an eye open. “What now?”

A whirring noise drew my attention to the kitchen island. An indent formed in the center of the granite countertop before it lowered and came back up with two steaming plates of food.

Rolling to my feet, I padded over. The Biwban had sprung for surf and turf this time. Though the sheer size of the massive steaks had me thinking they didn’t come from a cow. The smaller of the two was bigger than my head. While the other was a turkey-sized piece of meat cut in a perfect square. Forearm-sized grilled prawns were laid out over a bead of brussels sprouts and garlic potatoes.

“They have no idea how much we eat.” I ran a hand down my face. “Yet they planned this. They literally planned to trap me in a cozy cabin with that man.”

I’d be impressed if I weren’t so mad at myself for falling for their stupid matchmaking plans. Again.

“Holy dinosaur shanks, I’m dumber than a bird. I’m dumber than a bird. Thanks, American public school system.”

There were no cameras or overseers that I could see, and my stomach was growling. I took the steak knife and fork off the neatly folded napkin and sliced off a bite from the smaller plate and popped it into my mouth. My foot stomped. “Fuck me, of course it’s delicious.”

Meaty cube-shaped guilt loomed over me from the empty side of the table. I sliced off another bite and tried to chew past the gnawing feeling in my gut.

“I guess it was a little sweet for him to try to save me. Even though he was dumb not to run.”

My fingers thrummed on the table. I swallowed, then sank my fork into a brussels sprout.

The chair screeched as I pushed away from the table. “Fine!”

Pride tends to spike and get stuck in your throat when you swallow it down. I ignored the feeling and straightened my shoulders as I made it to the top of the steps. Placing my hand on the doorknob, I took a deep fortifying breath and tried to come up with a half decent thank-you as the door swung open.

The words froze on my lips.

In front of me, Osid lay on the bed, bare-chested, his pants unbuttoned and pulled low on his hips.

His long tail was coiled around his throat, tightening until his lips parted on a gasp.

Desire paired with desperation as he gripped the headboard with one hand and stroked his cock with the other.

His thighs were spread, wisps of tobacco and vanilla-scented smoke wafted around him, his cock painfully erect and weeping as he stroked himself with a slow, unhurried rhythm, as if each stroke was something to be savored.

Fat droplets of pre-cum slicked his movements; his thumb came to tease the weeping tip in insistent flicks, just as I had done with my tongue before.

His shaft pulsed. He tilted his head back, his tail claiming more of his throat as he moaned. Face flushed, so tormented with need tears bit at the edges of his eyes.

Heat flooded my body. I couldn’t stop the image of me climbing onto the bed to see how pretty he’d look as he ate my pussy. How those unassuming black beads would wreck my insides as he fucked me.

His breath quickened, so lost in his pleasure that he hadn’t even noticed me standing in the doorway. I should have left him to it. Stayed on the course of obstinate bitch so I wouldn’t wind up collared and chained to a man so obsessed with order and power that his main goal was literally world domination.

But those red flags were looking a lot like hearts right now.

Osid