Page 9 of I Punched an Alien and Now We’re in Couples Therapy

I smacked the overzealous little shit’s hand away.

She’s mine.

“She bites.”

Hakri nodded and moved to retrieve my armor and slung it over his mount. “Take my horncrest. I’ll ride with the others while we escort you back to Thornward.”

“We’re not going anywhere until those raiders are taken care of.” Turning to address the rest of the men, I said, “Silyu, ride ahead and gather up the others. Tell them to regroup with us at the hunting cabin down the road to Riverbend. Avoid taking the main road, they’ve probably loaded it with bloated button.”

The tracker cursed. “Are you sure it was BBs? I didn’t think they grew this far inland.”

He was right. Bloated buttons grew on an aquatic vine found only in swamplands. The parent vine used the fruit to store the flammable gas it produced as part of its respiration process. Underwater, the fruit was harmless, as the gel reacted with water to remain inert. If you removed them from the water, the fruit got unstable fast. If left out in the sun or hit with any kind of spark, the gel rapidly vaporized, causing the fruit to expand and eventually explode.

They made the perfect bombs if you used them within a few hours after plucking them. Any longer than that and the cursed thing would just get more unstable until it popped because some unlucky idiot looked at it wrong, whether you had it in water or not. It was almost unheard of to try to transport them over long distances. “They don’t grow here. But there’s no mistaking the green flash they make when you set them off.”

Hakri returned to my side, wringing his hands together. “Lord Osid, are you sure about this? You’re injured.”

“Yes. And thanks to your delays, our enemies have surely figured that out by now. We need to move before they grow even bolder.”

Suddenly, Blair screamed. Her coat was half swallowed by Hakri’s mount while she desperately clung to it by the sleeves.

Chapter 5

Blair

“Let go of it, you crusty Cretaceous piece of shit!” I dug my heels in and pulled for all I was worth. The pistol and the sin tin in my jacket pocket were all I had in this world, and I’d be damned if I had to accept the existence of aliens and dinosaurs while sober.

The triceratops jerked at it, nearly taking me off my feet. “Do they not feed you? I said let go!”

With an annoyed huff, the beast tugged again, then stomped angrily when I didn’t let go.

“Yeah, yeah, grunt and snort to you too, jackass!” I yelled, planting my foot on its nose and pulling. “Listen, you have NO IDEA the day I’ve been having. I’m cold, I’m tired, I’ve almost died like thrice since I woke up, and I swear on your mother’s horn, if you don’t let go of my fucking jacket I will cut you open and nap in your goddamn entrails for warmth!”

I kicked its snout, and its grip loosened up just enough for my jacket to pull free, and I yanked so hard I fell back on my ass.

The triceratops went ballistic. I didn’t have a chance to blink before it charged. Osid tackled me out of the way. The beast skidded to a halt, bellowed out a war cry, and changed course. The alien snatched me up and pushed me against a tree. He raised a palm to the enraged triceratops and fire shot out from his hand.

Fire.

Shot.

Out.

From.

His.

Hand.

I stared at the smoking palm in disbelief. The triceratops grunted and stomped its feet, ready to charge again. Fireballs peppered its face until the creature abandoned its rage in favor of hiding behind its rider. Hakri took its reins and patted its frill.

“I…did you start the damn forest fire?” I asked Osid.

He kept me caged against him as he watched the triceratops for a few beats longer. This close, I caught a whiff of tobacco and amber beneath the smoke that clung to his clothes. I found myself leaning closer, drawn in by the masculine scent.

“Ullu jav rukaten?”

His words caught me by surprise, and I jerked away from him so fast I bumped against the hard bark of the tree. I hissed in pain, clutching the back of my head.