Page 45 of Xavier

"I'm going to New York! Oh, my god! I'm going to be a dancer! XAVIER! Can you believe it?!”

"You are a dancer, baby. Now the whole world is going to know it!"' I tell her. And mean it. The world is going to know the beauty of my girl.

"You know what this moment needs?" I ask her, my eyes serious.

"What?" she asks, her eyes wide.

"An inaugural swim in the lake.”

"Ooooh, you think it's warm enough?"

"I think... it doesn't matter. We're going to do it anyway." I grab her hand and we run, run so hard we can barely keep up with ourselves.

It's almost completely dark when we finally get out of the water. The goosebumps covering every inch of our bodies ignored by us.

I turn on the string of fairy lights I've strung up around the tent just for her and wrap my biggest towel around her shoulders. Her jaw shakes a little as she thanks me, and I can't help but laugh at the tinge of blue lining her lips. She was the one who had refused to get out of the water even when the sky had almost lost all color.

Facing the wall of the tent, I pull off my wet shorts and wrap my towel around my waist, trying not to stare too much at the shadow of her wriggling out of her own wet clothes.

I settle back onto the air mattress on the floor of the tent, watching as she brushes the wet hair off her face and lies down next to me. The blanket is warm and soft on our skin as we shake it over our shivering bodies. She giggles as my hands try to warm her, running up and down her arms.

"Hey," she whispers, her face upturned to mine, the flickering shadows from the fairy lights bathing her in a warm, soft light. I just smile back at her, and drop a kiss on her forehead. "I have to go, you know," she says, and I nod.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." The smallest frown flickers across her face and I run a finger over her cheek. "Shhh, you know what I mean. I'm so happy for you. You are meant to go and study dance in New York and be everything you always wanted to be."

"And you?"

"And I... will be right there, beside you. Watching and cheering you on."

She pushes gently on my chest as she sits up.

"You're going to come with me?"

"You had any doubt?"

"But... how? You have your family and..."

How will we afford it? is what she wants to say. And I don't have an answer yet.

"I'll find a way. It might not work out right away. And it might be hard. Are you game?"

She giggles as she settles in against me.

"More game than ever."

***

It doesn’t take me long to find a summer job at a lawyer's office downtown. Lawsuits don't go away, even if lawyers do for vacation. It's menial, mind numbing labor; I file endless case notes, answer phones, hand out mail, and drink in everything I can while I'm there. I find excuses to come into the conference rooms during negotiations and depositions, and take on any job that needs doing. I learn fast and it shows, and I start being assigned tasks beyond my experience.

I sneak away for my lunch hours to the basketball courts and join Malynda, who seems more intent that ever to finish her mural. Before it was just a work in progress, now it seems it's her farewell to this town she grew up in.

But summer comes and goes, and soon just as quickly as early as heat descended on us, so does the crisp fall come encroaching before it is due.

Soon, it's only a few days before it's time for her to leave and for me to still remain.

The job at the lawyer's office pays more than the Dairy Joy, of course, but not by much. My bank account is a leaking bucket, what with helping out at home. But the numbers do start to add up, slowly. I hope that by the spring term, I can join her.

I don't tell her about the schools I've applied to, resolving to only tell her when there’s something concrete. Only something good.