Page 46 of Xavier

It's all I ever want to be in her life.

The good.

"Xavey! Look how big they are now!" Malynda dangles on one leg, half way up the tree branch, peering down at one of the other bird's nests we'd found that had recently hatched.

I look up from the grill I've set up by the lake, fanning the smoke from my face as the charcoal catches light.

"I know, I'm surprised they can still fit in there. Time to move out of home, buddies."

"Nooo, stay there forever. Stay little forever. Don't leave home," she coos at the little chirping, hungry mouths.

"Are you talking to the birds or yourself?"

"I was giving them some of my wisdom," she says, wryly.

"I thought it was some of your cold feet." I pull her legs into my lap and tickle the soles of her feet, making her squirm. "You're going to be great."

"I'm going to miss you so much."

"Good!” I say.

She scrunches up her face and nudges me with her toes. "How long, again?"

"Five, six months, tops."

"Promise?" I answer her with a kiss. "Okay. I guess I can wait four months," she sighs, pouting.

"Five or six! You won't even notice the time go by, I'll be there before you know it."

***

Dear Xavier,

I'm sorry.

I've put this letter off for too long.

Don't come here for me.

I won't be here.

I've met someone else. Another dancer. I'm leaving New York to be with him.

I'm so sorry.

I know it wasn't supposed to work out this way, I didn't expect it to.

I hope you can forgive me someday.

Take care.

Be happy.

x