Page 8 of Grace

“Fuck you, Chase,” she sneered provocatively. When she got her package, wrapped in tinfoil, she blew a kiss to him and stepped out of the van.

“Come on, Grace,” she sank her long, bony fingers into my arm and gave me a weak push. “Don’t stay near this asshole.”

“Okay, okay,” I said angrily and shook her hand off me. Nikky set off without looking back—she didn’t even notice that I hadn’t moved.

I adjusted the thin strap of my bag on my shoulder, tucked a stray lock of hair behind my ear, and decided not to thank Chase for his “kind gesture”. I started after Nikky, but Chase got out of his van with lightning speed and grabbed my wrist aggressively. His strong palm was warm, and his grip on my wrist was a warning. I felt warmth and goosebumps race along my arm.

“Don’t hang out with those people, Grace! You are much more than that slut,” he said, pointing at my sister, who kept walking on.

“You’re talking about my sister!” I hissed angrily. I pursed my lips and felt my nostrils flare with red-hot fury.

Chase leaned closer. Shamelessly close. Although his face showed no emotion, his smile was arrogant and frightening.

My heart thumped against my ribcage. I felt a mixture of fear and bravery—a bad combination, to be sure.

I tore my arm from his grip, we locked eyes for a while, then I set off after Nikky.

I didn’t hang out with my sister’s gang—it had nothing to do with Chase’s warning. I simply didn’t belong there. They were trouble, the embodied nightmare of parents: they drank and smoked—and not just regular cigarettes. In contrast, my older brother and I weren’t troublesome at all. Jamie was quiet, reclusive, and completely hooked on his PlayStation. I was similarly introverted, spending most of my time in my room writing my diary and illustrating the entries. I helped my parents with the housework so I could spend more time with them after they got home from work. Both of them did a lot of overtime: this was how we could live in such a nice house, and how we kids could have everything we wanted. Because we always seemed to want everything. And on my better days, I even covered for my sister who snuck out at night.

I was terribly boring and simple. I had no idea why Billy had asked me out on a date. Daisy seemed like a much better match, with her shorter, straight hair and bangs.

Still, since he’d asked me out, I tried my best not to look like a gray mouse.

At least this was the idea until reality slapped me in the face—I simply wasn’t capable of any kind of deceit. At first, I asked him about football, then I confessed that I hated sports, especially football.

Thankfully, Billy didn’t take this as an insult—he just laughed instead.

“I don’t like Green Day, either, but for you, I’d give it a try,” he said, making me smile.

He mustered his courage and took my hand. We slowly walked to the cinema, holding hands. We both felt intimacy and an urge to share everything about ourselves and wait for the other’s reaction. We talked about our plans for the future, including what we wanted to study. I liked that he was ambitious and had goals—he had a clear picture of what he wanted from the future. He had dreams. I hadn’t considered before that boys could dream, too.

I might have come off as naïve, but I believed every word he said. He seemed honest, and if he ever lied, Daisy would definitely inform me—she was a world-class gossip. Sometimes I thought she had files on every student in our school.

Summer was passing by quickly—half of the school break had already gone. I loved the evenings we spent outside with Mom and Dad, sitting on our garden swing with hot chocolate in hand, wrapped in blankets, when the night turned cool, gazing at the stars, talking or just listening to the crickets.

Daisy and I spent a lot of time together and made the most of it. We had a lot of sleepovers—sometimes at her parents’ place, sometimes at our home.

Whenever we were at our place, she was constantly drawn to Nikky’s room. She was completely obsessed with the clothes my sister wore and wanted to try them on badly—so badly, in fact, that she once even opened her door, and I had to grab her by the shoulder to stop her from entering. I pointed to the NO TRESPASSING sign.

“Come on, just for a little while,” she begged. “She’ll never find out,” she said, giving me her huge, hazel-brown puppy-dog eyes, but I shook my head. I didn’t want my sister to be mad at my best friend—in that case, I’d have to side with my sister, much to my dismay.

I’d be mad, too, if someone was rummaging around my stuff and trying on my clothes.

I let Daisy drool for a while, then closed the door.

We went to Jamie’s door—we could enter his room all right, I knew he didn’t mind if we played with his PlayStation.

Daisy had a crush on Jamie, so I sometimes left them alone to play without me. I didn’t really get her. Jamie was attractive but otherwise didn’t have much to offer.

He was tall and thin, like a long-distance runner, with light brown hair like mine. He also had bright blue eyes again like me, only they were more gray. Just like me, he didn’t go to parties, and he had no friends. He spent his free time locked in his room playing video games. He was twenty-two years old but he acted like he was twelve.

When we got bored indoors, we put on our bikinis and lay on a blanket in the backyard to sunbathe. We listened to Green Day on my new Discman that I’d received for my fifteenth birthday, and cooled ourselves down with our garden hose, since we didn’t have a swimming pool.

“You’re so lucky. I’m a bit jealous of you,” she said sulkily.

“Why?” I asked.

“Because of Billy.”