Page 56 of Nothing At All

“A little bit of therapy when I started at UGA.” The rough snort under a little bit made me think it was a lot. “I was struggling and didn’t want to be. Learned how to figure myself out, what I wanted, what scared me, what risks I could tolerate.”

“I’m a little jealous.” I’d spent college chasing a 4.0 and a leadership role in my sorority.

“Don’t be. A lot of my issues then stemmed from my dad being a piece of shit who left my mama.” He rested his chin on my head. “Had to make sure I was never like him.”

I lifted onto my elbows. “You could never be. You’re the best man I know. Well, you and my daddy.”

He smiled, eyes lighting with pleasure before he winced. “Please don’t bring your daddy into bed with us.”

With a quiet laugh, I tweaked his chin. “I could call you daddy.”

“No, I don’t think so, baby.” He pinched my hip. “That does not float my boat.”

“Yeah?” I trailed my hand down his chest to stroke below his navel. Something about that drove him crazy, and I loved the contrast of coarse hair and warm skin there. A muscle flexed under my fingers. “What does float your boat?”

“You.” He cradled my jaw and dropped a kiss on my lips so I tasted a hint of myself on his mouth from earlier. “Always you.”

I darted my tongue over his bottom lip and swallowed his groan. His dick stirred against my thigh. Desire and emotion whirled through me.

Yes, this man deserved more than I could from me.

He deserved everything.

“Okay, I need your help.” I plunked down the tray bearing our coffees and a trio of cupcakes on the table in front of Lacey and Vic. The other table at Shay’s bakery held a quartet of older women playing an early evening round of cards. “I know we’re not friends friends, but my friends back home would be useless.”

“That sounds . . . ominous.” Lacey smiled, not offended at all by my declaration we weren’t really friends yet. But it was true, and I really wasn’t one to lie. Be out of touch with my emotions? Sure. Lie about them? No.

Still in uniform, Vic simply watched me and waited. I itched under her impassive, all-seeing expression.

Hands wrapped around my mug, I jumped in. “I don’t really know how to be a cop’s girlfriend. I mean, I know that sounds weird since we’ve been dating for months, but I didn’t really . . . I don’t know how to . . .”

I trailed off, embarrassed. Lacey stared. Vic lifted a brow.

She shifted on her chair, the leather of her equipment belt creaking. “You want to know how to be a supportive partner.”

All over, I sagged with relief. “Yes.”

“What did you do with your other boyfriends?” Lacey pinched off a bit of her cupcake.

“Yeah, can we not discuss that?” I winced, Mama’s voice calling me flighty ringing in my head. “I know it’s a different kind of stress than my dad’s business.”

“It is.” Vic trailed a fingertip around the edge of her mug. Her nails were clean and short, with the barest hint of a nude polish. “But Gallagher has his shit together. A lot of guys – not just cops, but firefighters, EMTs, don’t have the skills to process it and keep it from poisoning home. He does.”

“Yes.” Like a rock in my shoe, that small, hard shame poked at me for not realizing what a gem he was. I wanted to deserve him. “I guess I want to make sure I have the skills.”

“I saw you at the hospital.” Vic’s tone didn’t shift, all calm and no judgement. “You were uncomfortable as hell, but you never let him know. You put his needs first when it counted. That’s important and says a lot. About you and about y’all as a couple.”

“I was scared to death.” Remembered fear swamped me.

“He stays on the road, you probably will be again. But he’s smart and well-trained. You can’t live in fear of what-ifs.”

Something heavier than grief flitted over her face, and Lacey darted a sympathetic look at her. I stilled. I was on some kind of sacred ground here without knowing it.

“I don’t know what advice to give.” With a smile that was more self-deprecating grimace, Lacey shrugged. “You pray over him, accept he might be late if something’s going on right at shift change, listen when he wants to talk and give him space when he doesn’t. You just love him.”

I sucked in an audible inhale before I thought about it.

Vic’s already insightful green gaze sharpened. “That’s what you’re really struggling with.”